Okay, I think I’m ready but how to tell my S/O?
For a lot of people it can be difficult to talk about your fantasies especially with someone you love, it’s can be doubly difficult to express desires that some people may consider perverted.
My suggestion is to start a conversation with your partner about what you love about your sex life, what you find sexy about them. Follow up with what you’d MORE of and then, maybe what you’d like to try. The first few sentences may be awkward, but you can make this a mutual exploration of what you’d like to try. The Yes/No/Maybe List is popular way to get started.
" Safe , Sane and Consensual"
Both you and your partner write down every sexual act, kink, fantasy you’ve ever heard of, and then each of you take turns with the list With Yes, I’d love to, No way in hell, or Just Maybe….You’d be surprised on the sexual interests you have in common that you’ve never even talked about it.
Another way to introduce the subject is by exploring BDSM erotica in books magazines or even videos. When you find something that turns you on share it with your partner. Marking something in a book or a magazine with a note saying “I think this is hot” is a lot less awkward than say “Could you tie me up and spank me?”
Adding new facets to your sex life can be a great bonding experience. The most important tip is to be open and honest with your partner about your desires and allow you both to make safe sane and consensual decisions...Happy Exploring!