REPORT
Love, Anger, Loneliness:
B-town divas and their
unknown fights
I
n our never-ending battles with love, anger, loneliness,
grief and other emotions, even the faintest of nudges
from inner demons are enough to send us hurtling
down the abyss. But how many of us make an effort
to take those demons by their horns? On the occasion
of Dussehra today, Bollywood's leading ladies tell hitlist
how they have been working on banishing the evil within
Shabana Azmi
When I was in college, I was terrified of public speaking. I used to win best actress awards at inter-collegiate
drama competitions. But even if I had to deliver a small
'thank you' speech, my legs would turn to jelly; I would
break into a sweat and even throw up. But then I started
writing down my speech and practiced it in front of the
mirror, just like I rehearsed my lines. I overcame my terror (wouldn't call it evil) and today, I am comfortable in
front of a mike. I believe practice and experience help,
provided you are determined to overcome your limitation.
Nimrat Kaur
We, as actors, tend to judge characters. In Homeland,
while essaying the part of an anti-national, a woman in
a place of high authority who is sympathetic towards terrorism, I had to overcome the evil of judging the character/ person. Life isn't about black and white. Whatever evil is in a person, it comes from somewhere. One
needs to understand a person's past before judging the
outcome.
Richa Chadda
When you are an actor, you face rejection on a daily basis. It is my inner demons - impatience, jealousy, greed
and rage - that I deal with on a daily basis. I firmly believe that evil never accepts defeat, but goodness always triumphs. That is what keeps me going. Without
a relevant last name or a pageant to your credit, it is
hard being an industry outsider. But to abide by what
you want to do is often harder. When I decided to wait
for Masaan to find funders, a lot of people discouraged
me. They questioned my belief in the film and the genre
of cinema. But it proved to be a special film for me and
for the country as well.
Radhika Apte
I battled temper issues for a long time. But, I realised
that I have to work on it. Now, I much calmer. In fact,
when I tell people that I was hot-headed earlier, they find
it tough to believe me. And that feels nice.
Huma Qureshi
The most important thing for any person is a positive
state of mind. Earlier, I used to take criticism personally
and would often cry over it or vent my feelings in front of
loved ones. But I have realised the futility of it now. I simply try and focus on the feedback given very objectively
without feeling hurt or upset. When I feel low or a negative thought comes to mind, I suspend all my work and
do something that makes me truly happy. At times, simply listening to my favourite song makes my day better.
Vidya Balan
What I have tried to overcome is my need to suppress
my anger. Feeling angry is natural but what's healthy is
the ability to express it. I feel lighter, brighter and better
since I began honouring my anger. After all, even goddesses Durga and Kali do that!
Kangana Ranaut
After a bitter fallout with my father, I was faced with
many rejections and failures during my struggling days.
I became accustomed to constant humiliation and embarrassment and believed that it was my destiny. I lost
my self esteem and self respect, befriended a sadistic
person who enjoyed hurting me and seemed comfortable with that treatment. One day, that person subjected
me to extreme physical violence and I exploded like a
volcano; I refused to take any more humiliation or insult.
I revealed my true self not only to that person, but to myself as well. Through that experience, I realised it wasn't
the other person who was evil, it was my own darkness
which resulted in that experience. I truly believe that experience made me aware of my own demons, helping
me pull the beasts out and kick their b*tt.
Anushka Sharma
There is obviously a struggle to stay positive and free of
ridiculous insecurities that deter your growth in a