BOOM, I jumped at it because it meant I actually got to
see her… and be snide about how I never get to see
her, in print.
Shaheen Bhatt: What is your happiest memory of us?
Alia Bhatt: I think playing together. No, actually, (laughs),
what automatically comes to me is an unhappy memory
— of you locking me in the dark. Which is why I have a
fear of the dark…
SB: I really don’t think that’s why you have a fear of the
dark. Papa is afraid of the dark, too.
AB: Papa didn’t sit me down and teach me to have a fear
of the dark, you triggered it...
SB: I locked you in the dark, maybe twice!
AB: Shaheen?! It was like two years, it was not twice!
SB: That’s why I asked what your happiest memory is.
AB: (Laughs) When we used to play doctor-doctor...
SB: (Laughs) Yeah, and you didn’t realise that breathing
was required to be alive, so I would play dead for several
minutes and—
AB: That’s great, Shaheen, you just said Alia didn’t know
that breathing was required to be alive.
SB: You were five!
AB: (Laughs) I remember this one amazing moment.
You came into my room and started telling me what kissing and being intimate with boys was all about.
SB: What! I have no memory of this!
AB: Yes! You had the talk with Mummy, and you decided
to tell me about it. I was in the sixth standard! But I have
to say you did a better job than Mom who was like, when
daddy comes to mummy, daddy gives mummy a seed
and then comes a flower (laughs).
SB: That sounds seriously weird.
AB: There was also that time we didn’t talk to each other
for about three years.
SB: There you are with the exaggeration again. It was
two months!
AB: Shaheen? It was two yea—
SB: ...and it was because you ratted to papa about
something.
AB: (Laughs) Yeah, you were playing some Harry Potter
game and I told him.
SB: Yeah, I don’t even recall what it was but I froze you
out for two months.
AB: You’re a very hard person, Shaheen.
SB: (Laughs) The two years we didn’t talk was because
we weren’t really close then, you were so young. Actually most people don’t realise that we’re six years apart.
AB: You’re older, but people assume I am because I’m
always shouting at you and telling you what to do.
SB: Yes, this is a very recent thing.
AB: (Laughs) Our relationship dilly-dallies, there are
times when you act like my mother and times when I act
like your mother, sister, boyfriend, father. We have this
telepathic sync and we come to each other’s rescue.
SB: We’ll be each other’s lawyer.
AB: Our parents are lovely people, but they can be excruciatingly overbearing. So if I’m low, Dad wants to give
C OVER STORY
me my space, but he’ll somehow make sure that he’s
not doing that…
SB: He’s being a parent, basically.
AB: Yeah, and you’ll tell them to back off. You would cover for me growing up too. I’d call you and say I’ve told
them I’m here but I’m actually there.
SB: (Laughs)
AB: But I used to not cover for you, I would go straight
and complain: “Mummy, I think Shaheen is talking to a
boy.” (Laughs)
SB: You were really a pain in the ass when we were
growing up. You used to listen in on my phone calls and
if I was talking to a boy you’d be like “heh heh, you said
the L-word”. You were so disgusting.
AB: (Giggles) Also, you have this thing where you cry
on my birthday. It started when I was 13 and kept happening...
SB: (Laughs) I would just weep and weep like, MY GOD
WHAT IS HAPPENING!
AB: When I turned 21, you cried for like half an hour and
I had to console you. Now it’s started happening one
week before the birthday, I can see you moping around
the house and I’m like, why are you so sad?
SB: It’s because I told Mom I wanted a baby sister and
I didn’t understand the concept — I thought you would
grow up to be the same age as me, I wouldn’t grow older, and we would just be together.
AB: You’re just a crier.
SB: Yeah, dude. I also cry — what you’ve done like five
movies now? — from frame one till the end, I’m choking.
Mom stopped doing that after the first film, but it’s still
that way for me.
AB: (Nodding, mouthful of her post-workout snack.)
SB: You’ve always liked to have a lot of people around
you. But recently you’ve discovered the joy of being
alone. What prompted it?
AB: I think there comes a point when you’ve walked so
far away from yourself that spending time in your own
head becomes really, really difficult. I’d reached a stage
where even car journeys alone were becoming painful
for me because...
SB: …you didn’t know how to be with yourself.
AB: Correct. Honestly I just wanted to go away after
Shaandaar didn’t do well. It’s like dealing with a breakup. I was feeling really low. And more than just the film, it
was for me — I had been going through that whole grind
of promotions, constantly talking. I needed to be silent.
Which is why this holiday by myself was amazing.
SB: You still very sweetly asked me to come with you,
and I was like no, you want to be alone, go be alone.
AB: (Laughs) I was scared, what if I got bored? But it
was so good. I was there [in the UAE] for three nights
and two days and I went paragliding. I felt like a bird!
After landing, I had that moment of “Life is just so simple,
we should just be happy we’re alive!” — I mean, apart
from the fact that I was completely nauseous.
SB: (Laughs)
27 | BOOM