R E L AT I O N S H I P
C
6 bedroom behaviours
that could be killing
your marriage
oming home to your spouse after a long, tiring day is one of the best feelings in the world.
The little time spent before sleeping can make a
huge difference in both your moods and your marriage.
However, there are some behaviours that could be detrimental to your relationship in the long run. Here are six
bedroom mistakes that you should avoid, according to
experts:
1. Going to bed at different times
It might seem like a small thing because you two have
different schedules, but overtime it can breed resentment. Psychotherapist Marcia Naomi Berger says, “It’s a
recipe for feeling lonely
and emotionally (and
physically)
detached
from each other. One
of the best things about
being a couple is the
warm, fuzzy time you
share right before drifting off to sleep — why
would anyone want
to sacrifice that?” She
also said, “A conflict or
grudge might exist that
you need to talk about
earlier in the day.”
There are chances that
it may turn into something much bigger if
you don’t get the opportunity to talk about it in detail.
2. Being inconsiderate of your spouse’s schedule
For a happy relationship, it is crucial that you be considerate of how much rest your significant other is getting. Marriage and family therapist, Becky Whetstone,
shared, “One husband I counselled was a physician and
had to be at the hospital by 6am every week day. He
pleaded with his wife, a stay-at-home mom, to not watch
TV when he was trying to get a good night’s sleep but
she wanted to keep it on all night as background noise.
Despite every effort – like suggesting she get headphones or he get earplugs and blinders for his eyes —
nothing brought him peace and she would not budge. A
few years later, they divorced.”
3. Not connecting with each other before going to
sleep
You may be extremely tired and want to sleep as soon
as you get into bed, but try to set some time aside to
emotionally connect with your partner before you sleep.
You will notice that it will make you both happier in the
long run. Relationship coach LiYana Silver says, “Take
the time to talk about the highlights and low points of
your day. There’s no need to offer advice or therapy to
each other — just keep it to a short share.”
4. Prioritising screen-time over quality time with
your spouse
We all have the habit of scrolling through our social
media feeds before drifting off to sleep, but that should
always come after your time with your spouse. In fact,
it’s better to leave your devices out of your bedroom
before going to sleep. Marcia Naomi Berger said, “Taking a tablet or phone to bed
with you harms your relationship in two ways: First,
it isolates you emotionally
from each other. Secondly,
when we’re on an electronic
device shortly before sleeping, the stimulation from the
screen tends to keep you
awake. With insufficient
sleep, we’re likely to be less
patient, kind and tolerant towards our partner the next
day.”
5. Self-grooming in bed
No matter how close you
are, some things are better done in private in your
bathroom – like shaving or clipping your toenails, etc.
Leaving your partner disgusted is never a good thing.
“A wife I worked with was disgusted with her husband’s
tendency for grooming his nails in bed,” Whetstone recalled. “She’d say, ‘I hear a click or crack and every now
and then a piece of toe or fingernail hits me in the face
or flies across the room and bounces off the wall!’ Even
when the nails Y