WOMEN ’ S
Is your spouse emotionally abusive ?
Here ' s why that needs to stop
Karen doesn ’ t even have the strength to walk properly . She tells me anxiously that it feels like pins and needles in her left leg . She is hoping that I would offer some explanation about her recurrent symptoms . Internists and neurologists were unable to diagnose what was wrong with her . Karen looks at me in confusion ; I can tell that she is wondering how a psychiatrist would be able to help her . My speciality is psychosomatic medicine , a subspecialty in psychiatry , focusing on medical symptoms caused by disorders . A simple example is when someone has anxiety-induced physical symptoms such as nausea or severe headaches . In our fi eld , patients are only referred to us by our counterparts in internal medicine once all medical causes of a patient ' s illness have been ruled out . We treat any underlying psychological reasons that may be resulting in physical symptoms . I ask Karen if she is facing any kind of stress in her life . She quietly contemplates . She then says that she is having a hard time juggling her job and kids . But I point out that her symptoms tell a different story . As I say that , she leaves my offi ce with tears in her eyes . However , I am not surprised that she eventually comes back . She fi nally accepts that hiding her pain would not help her . Trying to remain composed , she opens up about the insults , the passive aggressiveness , and complete lack of compassion on part of her spouse . At the same time , she desperately wants her marriage to last since her husband is a good father . But as his wife , she feels abused . He is never physically aggressive , but emotionally , he is not a kind partner . In other words , Karen is in an emotionally abusive relationship , which is contributing to her current symptoms .
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After evaluation , we diagnosed her with conversion disorder , which is a condition where a patient shows psychological stress in physical ways . Research has shown that when someone is subjected to constant emotional stress , it can produce physical symptoms such as pain and numbness . Karen is fortunate enough to receive help , as she is an American citizen living in the US . Had Karen been a Pakistani , chances are she would have been expected to continue enduring the pain and be a so-called good wife and mother . Not only did she fi nd a team of dedicated physicians , but her husband was also willing to consider couples therapy in an effort to support his wife . Sadly , the same cannot be said for much of Pakistan , where when in an abusive relationship , the women suffer in silence . This is also because there is an acceptance of the abuse — where society thinks women should accept it as a natural part of marriage . But the result of this lack of compassion and micro-aggressions on part of the spouse not only contributes to depression and anxiety , there can also be devastating effects on the victim ’ s body . However , this can only be fought if society starts seeing emotional abuse for what it is as opposed to accepting it as a natural part of the deal a woman gets in a marriage and sometimes even glorifying it in day-today life as well as through popular culture . Promoting a woman as a ‘ good girl ’ who will accept come what may just to stay in a marriage is deeply harmful . As a society , we need to seriously think about what we are doing with regard to the psychological — and by extension physical — health of our women . Note : The patient ' s name has been changed to protect privacy .