R E L AT I O N S H I P
How to fix your
relationship
T
hink your relationship with your partner is stuck
in a rut? Here are five simple tricks to strengthen
your equation with each other. When you and your
girl first met, it was electric. And it was easy: you wanted
to be around each other all the time, couldn't keep your
hands to yourself and you found yourself, smiling in your
cubicle as you read her latest text (or sext).
But, time goes on. You have your first fight. You have
trouble in the bedroom or you struggle to communicate
how you feel. While fighting is absolutely normal in a
relationship, if you're feeling like you've started to lose
some of the lustre you both had for one another -don't let
it overwhelm or defeat you. In fact, many relationship experts agree that while deal-breaking type of issues (like
one of you wants kids and the other doesn't) aren't as
easy to over come, other problems can work themselves
out. So no need to drag out a conversation or bring out
those skeletons in the closet. Instead try these simple
tactics to make your relationship stronger:
HAVE A `HIGH-LOW' CONVERSATION
She left the entire contents of her closet on the floor before heading off to work and you come home to a mess.
She drank too much wine and picked a fight via iMessage and you just can't let it go -we all have grievances
in relationships. And while neither of you is perfect, a
perfect way to remember those things you really love
about each other is talking about them. Relationship expert and therapist Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell says having
a highlow conversation will get you back on track. "Take
turns sharing something you love about your relationship and actually revel in the memory of the high," she
says. "Then move to the `low' something in your relationship that you'd like to improve. Take time to discuss
and strategise ways that you can address the issue."
GO 'OFF THE GRID'
Even if you're in a monogamous relationship, chances are you actually aren't. You're both fondling your
iPhones far more often than you're touching one another.Abrell says by stepping away from technology for
a weekend (or OK -just a day if you can't make it) -will
help you reconnect."Many couples engage in way too
much screen time. Commit to going `off the grid' for a
weekend," she says. "Take a trip away or just stay home
without texting, emailing, tweeting and posting. Do anything other than spending time on
your phones, tablets and computers!"
ASK MORE QUESTIONS
Have you taken time to get to know the
woman you sleep next to every night? Abrell
says it's time to go back to school: "It's time
to `study' each other! Read chapters in relationship books together and discuss. Buy
question books and ask each other to respond. You'll be amazed at what you'll learn
and how much closer you become."
SEND INTIMATE SMS-ES
While you and your girl may have exchanged
steamy messages in the early days of your
torrid courtship, over time, your curiosity and
passion may wane. Author and communication and intimacy expert, Sandra LaMorgese, PhD, says rebuilding the anticipation throughout
the day will have you both looking forward to action after
dusk. "A good way to keep your relationship dynamic
and exciting is to remember that the steamiest seduction begins long before you lay a hand on your partner.
Send your partner spicy little texts throughout the day,"
she says.
SAY `THANK YOU'
Relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer believes that expressing gratitude is just as important as expressing
love. In fact, gratitude is a form of love. "Your partner
might not be doing monumental things: cooking dinner,
folding and putting away the laundry, making the morning
coffee, keeping the apartment clean, but they do matter
to you, don't they?" she asks. "Remember to thank your
partner instead of just expecting household chores to be
done and, often times, taking them for granted."
41 | BOOM