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26 Education & Career
THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES:
THE DANGER OF FURTHER EDUCATION
By Alison Scott
Once upon a time, in a place not far from here,
lived many emperors, each in their own ivory
tower. A King Emperor ruled over them all, and
one of his greatest pleasures was to meddle. He
delighted in thinking up new tasks for the lowly
emperors to perform. Unfortunately the lowly
emperors felt they had to obey, until one day - a
day when everything changed.
King Emperor had thought up his best meddlesome
plan yet. ‘I know’, he thought, I shall keep my lowly
emperors very busy by telling them they must ensure
that all the workers in their ivory towers must do their
work perfectly. To be good will no longer be good
enough, and to be less than good will cause great
sorrow for these workers who have failed - and great
stress for their emperor!’
The lowly emperors, after receiving this new edict,
asked a very sensible question. ‘But how, ‘ they asked,’
will we know whether our workers are perfect or not?
Their work is very complex. They work with people
of varying abilities who come from all parts of this
kingdom and beyond. This means they have developed
many different ways of working. How can we possibly
judge the quality of this specialised work - especially as
we emperors know nothing about it?’
‘That’s simple!’ replied the King Emperor. ‘I have
designed a simple set of 4 numbers: 1=perfect, 2=good
(but not good enough), 3 = must improve (or else) and
4= most deplorable indeed. You will observe your
workers, each and every one of them, and grade them
with one of these numbers. You will know when to give
a grade 1 because it is instinctive - you will just know (do
not press me further on this), and a grade 2 is when you
are not too sure if it is a 1 or not. Grades 3 and 4 are very
useful if you want to reduce worker numbers because
these grades will trigger very particular actions.’
‘What sort of actions?’ the emperors nervously asked,
dreading the reply.
‘Well, a grade 3 or 4 will trigger the Performance
Management game. This game involves an activity
called Support and Development. After this, the grade
3 and 4 workers are observed again. If another lowly
grade is received then they will be in great trouble, for
clearly they are unlikely to become the perfect workers
you must now employ. I leave it to you to decide
whether to give them another chance in the game or
to dispose of them more quickly.
‘Take note, for this Performance Management game
has very high stakes! I feel sure that all your workers
will be energised and motivated to be perfect, for they
will not want the shame and degradation attached to
losing. In short, this is a brilliant improvement strategy!
Moreover, as an added incentive to you all, those
ivory towers with many perfect workers will receive
the ultimate accolade: your tower will be proclaimed
throughout the kingdom and beyond as Outstanding!’
The emperors were very miserable on hearing this
dismal news, and discussed with each other how
they could possibly present this to their workers in a
favourable light. ‘Truly,’ bemoaned one, ‘King Emperor
has surely lost the plot this time. The task he has set us
is unachievable, and our workers will tell us so.’
Sure enough, back in their respective ivory towers
the new missive from on high was greeted with scorn
and derision by many workers. The weaker workers
resigned on the spot and others followed when the
new system gave them lowly grades. Those who could
not afford to resign became sad and dispirited, and a
few became angry and militant - but never in sufficient
numbers to overthrow the system. What was strange
was that a surprising number of workers appeared to
think the task of reaching perfection was achievable,
and spent many hours honing perfect work practices
according to many missives designed expressly to
show them how.
And how did the emperors cope? A few retired early,
some voluntarily but most were pushed to do so by the
King Emperor. Soon there became a worrying shortage
of good and noble leaders. Many developed great skills
in the Performance Management game so that they
could dispense of high numbers of workers and be
rewarded and acclaimed. These emperors pleased the
King Emperor very well, and he suggested they should
call themselves Chief Executive Officer Emperors
(or CEOs for short). For had they not achieved great
efficiencies and savings in their treatment of the
workers? And with all the Support and Development