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mojatu .com 26 Education & Career THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES: THE DANGER OF FURTHER EDUCATION By Alison Scott Once upon a time, in a place not far from here, lived many emperors, each in their own ivory tower. A King Emperor ruled over them all, and one of his greatest pleasures was to meddle. He delighted in thinking up new tasks for the lowly emperors to perform. Unfortunately the lowly emperors felt they had to obey, until one day - a day when everything changed. King Emperor had thought up his best meddlesome plan yet. ‘I know’, he thought, I shall keep my lowly emperors very busy by telling them they must ensure that all the workers in their ivory towers must do their work perfectly. To be good will no longer be good enough, and to be less than good will cause great sorrow for these workers who have failed - and great stress for their emperor!’ The lowly emperors, after receiving this new edict, asked a very sensible question. ‘But how, ‘ they asked,’ will we know whether our workers are perfect or not? Their work is very complex. They work with people of varying abilities who come from all parts of this kingdom and beyond. This means they have developed many different ways of working. How can we possibly judge the quality of this specialised work - especially as we emperors know nothing about it?’ ‘That’s simple!’ replied the King Emperor. ‘I have designed a simple set of 4 numbers: 1=perfect, 2=good (but not good enough), 3 = must improve (or else) and 4= most deplorable indeed. You will observe your workers, each and every one of them, and grade them with one of these numbers. You will know when to give a grade 1 because it is instinctive - you will just know (do not press me further on this), and a grade 2 is when you are not too sure if it is a 1 or not. Grades 3 and 4 are very useful if you want to reduce worker numbers because these grades will trigger very particular actions.’ ‘What sort of actions?’ the emperors nervously asked, dreading the reply. ‘Well, a grade 3 or 4 will trigger the Performance Management game. This game involves an activity called Support and Development. After this, the grade 3 and 4 workers are observed again. If another lowly grade is received then they will be in great trouble, for clearly they are unlikely to become the perfect workers you must now employ. I leave it to you to decide whether to give them another chance in the game or to dispose of them more quickly. ‘Take note, for this Performance Management game has very high stakes! I feel sure that all your workers will be energised and motivated to be perfect, for they will not want the shame and degradation attached to losing. In short, this is a brilliant improvement strategy! Moreover, as an added incentive to you all, those ivory towers with many perfect workers will receive the ultimate accolade: your tower will be proclaimed throughout the kingdom and beyond as Outstanding!’ The emperors were very miserable on hearing this dismal news, and discussed with each other how they could possibly present this to their workers in a favourable light. ‘Truly,’ bemoaned one, ‘King Emperor has surely lost the plot this time. The task he has set us is unachievable, and our workers will tell us so.’ Sure enough, back in their respective ivory towers the new missive from on high was greeted with scorn and derision by many workers. The weaker workers resigned on the spot and others followed when the new system gave them lowly grades. Those who could not afford to resign became sad and dispirited, and a few became angry and militant - but never in sufficient numbers to overthrow the system. What was strange was that a surprising number of workers appeared to think the task of reaching perfection was achievable, and spent many hours honing perfect work practices according to many missives designed expressly to show them how. And how did the emperors cope? A few retired early, some voluntarily but most were pushed to do so by the King Emperor. Soon there became a worrying shortage of good and noble leaders. Many developed great skills in the Performance Management game so that they could dispense of high numbers of workers and be rewarded and acclaimed. These emperors pleased the King Emperor very well, and he suggested they should call themselves Chief Executive Officer Emperors (or CEOs for short). For had they not achieved great efficiencies and savings in their treatment of the workers? And with all the Support and Development