Books In English "City Of Illusions" Ursula K. Le Guin | Page 64

ashes of the fire.
Three more days and nights in the cavern, while the blizzard renewed
and spent itself overhead, Falk and Estrel passed in sleep and lovemaking.
She was always the same, yielding, acquiescent. He, having only the
memory of the pleasant and joyful love he had shared with Parth, was
bewildered by the insatiability and violence of the desire Estrel roused in
him. Often the thought of Parth came to him accompanied by a vivid
image, the memory of a spring of clear, quick, water that rose among rocks
in a shadowy place in the forest near the Clearing. But no memory
quenched this thirst, and again he would seek satisfaction in Estrel's
fathomless submissiveness and find, at least, exhaustion. Once it all turned
to uncomprehended anger. He accused her; "You only take me because
you think you have to, that I'd have raped you otherwise."
"And you would not?"
"No!" he said, believing it. "I don't want you to serve me, to obey
me—Isn't it warmth, human warmth, we both want?"
"Yes," she whispered.
He would not come near her for a while; he resolved he would not
touch her again. He went off by himself with his lightgun to explore the
strange place they were in. After several hundred paces the cavern
narrowed, becoming a high, wide, level tunnel. Black and still, it led him
on perfectly straight for a long time, then turned without narrowing or
branching and around the dark turning went on and on. His steps echoed
dully. Nothing caught any brightness or cast any shadow from his light. He
walked till he was weary and hungry, then turned. It was all the same,
leading nowhere. He came back to Estrel, to the endless promise and
unfulfillment of her embrace.
The storm was over. A night's rain had laid the black earth bare, and
the last hollowed drifts of snow dripped and sparkled. Falk stood at the top
of the stairway, sunlight on his hair, wind fresh on his face and in his
lungs. He felt like a mole done hibernating, like a rat come out of a hole.
"Let's go," he called to Estrel, and went back down to the cavern only to
help her pack up quickly and clear out.
He had asked her if she knew where her people were, and she had
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