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By the time I got back in, the radio station had been changed, and the passenger side seat was reclined, indicating to me Pilar wanted to sleep, and not talk. Fine with me. I was willing to wait until we got to Michigan to say whatever I needed to. The radio show we were listening to kept me entertained, mixing funny stories and anecdotes with soul music. I adjusted the volume up, in an attempt to drown out Pilar’ s snoring. I should have been used to it, but we didn’ t live together, and in recent weeks, we hadn’ t been intimate on any level. I knew enough about Pilar to write her biography, knowing she only snored when she hadn’ t been getting enough rest. She hasn’ t been telling me much about her activities lately. I cruised, letting the radio show act as my co-pilot. When you find a level of contentment and acceptance in the depths of your soul, don’ t let anybody tamper with your peace. I was in a peaceful place, content with the decisions I’ d made. Pilar woke up a couple of hours later, about an hour away from our destination. The radio station was starting to fade out, and I hadn’ t bothered to switch to another. My mind was elsewhere, and I wished Pilar had remained sleep.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her patting her pockets. Then she retrieved her purse from the back seat, and started rummaging through it. Here we go again, I thought to myself, she’ s forgotten something.“ We need to turn around, I left my cell phone. I sat it down by the window when I was waiting for you to show up. If you’ d been on time, this never would have happened,” she said, a note of anger in her voice.
“ I was seven minutes late. We’ re almost there, and I’ m not driving three hours back to Chicago for you to retrieve your phone,” I said, in a calm voice.“ As long as you have your wallet and ID, you’ re fine. This weekend is supposed to be about us, not anything else. Who do you need to talk to that’ s so important? You’ re with me.”
“ That’ s not the point,” she snapped.“ I have friends I need to be in contact with, so they’ ll know I’ m alright. I feel naked without my phone, disconnected.”
" I hoped so, but then again, I hoped not. I’ m not so easily replaced."
“ This weekend is about disconnecting, so whoever you need to talk to will have to wait until we get back,” I said.
Silence reigned for the majority of the rest of the ride. I could feel the anger emanating from her, and for the first time in our relationship, I could care less. If anybody should be angry, it should be me.
In a relationship, when someone starts to change, it usually means something in their life has shifted. Maybe their focus wasn’ t on the relationship any more because they were determined to put themselves first. Maybe they weren’ t as in love with you as you were them. Or perhaps they’ d met someone else.
The other night, while daydreaming about all of the sexual activities Pilar and I would indulge in this weekend, I had a disheartening realization. We hadn’ t made love in at least three weeks, which was strange for us. Typically, we couldn’ t keep
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