1 . Jacks Joke Shop – Songwriter Doug MacDonald | Published Doug MacDonald
It used to be Jack ' s joke shop now it ' s Jake ' s . Me and Jake went down to Jack ' s wake We opened up the casket his nose was fake . He even had a hand buzzer on his hand for goodness sake ' s Had a sign around his neck pull my finger if you dare I gave it a quick tug of funny odor in the air . A woman gave me 10 fingers I jumped up and said Jack ' s not dead . Jake sacked me on the ground he said I ' ll fill you full of led . They thought their joke was funny I didn ' t think it was that great . It used to be Jack ' s joke shop now it ' s Jake ' s . Jack pulled out a bubble pipe and blew it in my face Jake tied my hands with sparkling covered tape . They threw me in a sleeping bag filled with itching powder I was scratching like a monkey in a shower . The priest grab a folding chair and hit Jack across the back then turned around and kick Jake like an old Hakki sack . I was hopping around the room like I was in a race . If used to be Jack ' s joke shop now it ' s Jake ' s . Jake locked the door and he said nobody move . Jack pulled out a flare gun and a Mickey Mouse kazoo . The priest on a whoopee cushion and said this is not fair . Jack took the kazoo and shoved it in his ear . They made us all eat garlic gum and to listen to screaming Jay Hawkins . They took all the money and put it in the coffin they rolled it out the door and sprayed us all with mace . It used to be jacks joke shop now it ' s Jake ' s