Bollywood Showtime August 2014 | Page 12

Jokes JOKES Submit your jokes to [email protected] for your chance to win cool prizes and tickets to local events Jok of t es Mo he nth A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, ‘What is that shiny object?’ The clerk replies, ‘That is a thermos flask.’ The sardar then asks, ‘What does it do?’ The clerk responds, ‘It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.’ The sardar says, ‘I’ll take it!’ The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, ‘What is that shiny object with you?’ He said, ‘It’s a thermos flask.’ The boss then says,’What does it ! do?’ He replies, ‘It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.’ The boss said, ‘Wow, what do you have in it?’ The sardar replies, ‘Two cups of coffee and a coke.’ Tongue Twister Mansi Devan, via Email Why Women are like computers Blind old man 1. No one really understands them. 2. All our mistakes are stored in their memory. 3. You find yourself spending all your money on accessories for them! Height of Facebook Status Santa updates his facebook status: “Suhagraat Hai Ghoonghat utha raha hu mai” ... in 1 min 87 likes and 1 Comment :”Bhai UPDATE karte rahna... hum Online hain !!” Two types of people in this world Duniya K 2 sabse Mushkil Kaam .1-Apni baat Kisi Aur Ke dimag Me Fit Krna..! .2- Kisi Aur Ka Paisa Apni Jeib Mein shift karna! Jo Pehle Me Kamyab Hota Hai, Usey “Teacher”Kehte Hai, .Jo Dusre Me Kamyab Hota Hai, Usey “Business Man” Kahte hai .Aur Jo Dono Me Kamyab Hoti Hai Usey...“WIFE” Kahte ha 12 Bollywood Showtime Ek baba kisi mehfil mein gaye... Waha sab unka majaak udane lage baba ne kaha - dekho ham fakir log hain hamara majaak na udaye log khub hase achanak un sab logo dikhna bandh ho gaya wo andhe ho gaye wo sab baba ke kadmo me gir gaye : bole babaji hame maf kardo babaji ne apna juta utara aur un sabko ek ek mara aur bole Kamino light chali gayi hai koi janretor on karo mujhe bhi nahi dikhayi de raha Pappu vs Teacher Pappu Kai Dinon Se School Nahi Jata Toh Kafi Dinon Ke Baad School Jane Per Teacher Pappu Se Puchti Hai. Teacher: “Itne Din Se Kahaan Thhe?” Pappu: “Bird Flu Ho Gya Thha” Teacher: “Par Yeh To Birds Mein Hota Hai” Pappu (Gusse Me): “Insaan Hi Kaha Rehne Diya Apne, Roj To Murga Bana Dete Ho“ Banta misses Santa Santa:- Abe Banta tu yaha baitha hai…Tere dost ki death ho gai hai… Tu gaya Kyu Nahi???? Banta:- Uss saale ne mujhe bulaya hi nahi Husband Wife Jokes Husband: Tumhare Shaadi se pehle kitne boyfriend the? Wife silent.. Husband chilla ke: Me iss khamoshi ko kya samjhu? Wife: Haaye Rabba.. Gin to rahi hu, Chilla kyun rahe ho... Wife: Phone pe itni dheemi awaaz mein kis se baat kar rahe ho? Husband: Bahen hai..! Wife: To fir itni dhimi aawaz me kis liye? Husband: Teri hai isiliye WIFE: Suno ji, agar tumhaare baal isi raftaar se jhadte rahe toh main tumhein talaaq de doongi!! Pati: He BHAGWAN, aur main paagal inko bachaane ki koshish kar rahaa thaa...... Wife: Tum Saari Dunya Mein Bhi Dhoondo To Bhi Mujh Jaisi Doosri Nahi Milegi...... Husband: Tum Kya SamjhTi Ho? Mein Doosri Bhi Tum Jaisi Hi Dhoondoon Ga..! Hadd Ho Gayi.. Wife: Agar main mar jaun to tum kya karoge? Husband: Shayad main vi mar jaunga . Wife: Kyon? Husband : kabhi kabhi zyada khusi janleva hoti hai