ST RICT LY T WEENS
ST RICT LY T WEENS
DEAR FUTURE ME
Something happened with my best friend Devin* and I don’t know what to do. We
were hanging out at his house on Friday, just watching movies, when he offered me
a beer. He told me he just takes them from the fridge whenever his parents aren’t
home. I had no clue he did that; we’re only in 8th grade. He made it seem like no big
deal, and I’ll admit that I was curious, but I still told him I didn’t want one. He didn’t
pressure me to drink or anything, but he still took one for himself and then made
me promise to not tell my parents. He talked about drinking like it was fine, that lots
of kids our age do it, but it still made me uncomfortable. I’m worried if I talk to my
parents about it I won’t be allowed to hang out with him anymore. What do I do?
-Past You
*Name changed for anonymity
DEAR PAST ME
Unfortunately, your story isn’t unique. Lots of kids begin experimenting with alcohol
or drugs around your age. However, just because it can be common, doesn’t mean
that it’s okay. Studies show that drinking at that young of an age causes significant
damage to your long term memory, learning skills, and muscle and brain development.
Yes, even just a beer will affect your health down the road. You were right, and brave,
for not taking a drink. The first lesson in this is that you can’t control others actions,
but you are still responsible for yourself.
I would first talk to Devin yourself and let him know that you don’t think it’s smart or
safe for him to be drinking. A lot can come from a mature conversation; this isn’t you
attacking him or his decisions. Stand your ground and tell him, as a friend, that you are
concerned for his health.
If that conversation doesn’t quite go the way you’d like, try talking to the counselor
at your school and let them know you are concerned for a friend of yours. School
counselors have a lot of wonderful advice and resources that could help. They can sit
down and talk with you and Devin, separately or together, and talk about why young
teens choose to drink, and what healthy alternatives can help you avoid legal troubles,
health issues, or addiction. You can also learn about local adolescent rehab centers, like
The Crossroads or Rusk Rehabilitation.
In the meantime, be honest with your parents. This is not a small topic, and could end
up growing out of your control. Your parents would rather you tell them your story of
being above the influence than hearing from another source that you were there when
there was alcohol present. Maybe hang out with Devin at your house or a public place
where the environment doesn’t allow for alcohol until things are settled.
You are being a good friend and being very responsible. Best of Luck!
-Future You
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Counselor’s Corner
riendships are meant to be one of the
F
best parts of life – friends create laughter
and joy and make you feel good about
yourself. At the same time, friendships
are not perfect. Friends sometimes fight
and it’s normal to have disagreements.
At times it can be difficult to know how
to resolve arguments with friends, but
there are healthy ways to handle conflict.
Overall, a healthy friendship is one that is
mostly fun and positive but that can also
overcome differences.
rue friends are those who are kind to
T
each other and who enjoy spending time
together. If you are struggling to find
these kinds of friends, joining a club, sport
or activity that you enjoy may be a good
way to make new friends. You want to
look for friends who like you for who you
are, because you should feel comfortable
to be yourself around your friends.
ometimes friends get into fights, and
S
that’s okay. If you are angry at a friend
or hurt, you have every right to feel the
way you do. Anger, sadness and all other
emotions are normal and are okay to feel.
The most important thing is what you do
with those feelings and what actions you
take.
hen you are angry or hurt, it is best to
W
stay away from social media. Your feelings
will not last forever, but the things you
post and share on social media are hard
to take back. If you need to vent about an
argument with a friend, talk to a parent
or another adult that you trust—that way
you can avoid gossiping to other friends
about the friend you’re mad at. When
you’ve had a chance to calm down and
think through your feelings, talk to your
friend directly and express how you feel.
Everyone needs someone safe to talk to
about their feelings. It can be helpful to
find an adult who can listen and help you
if you are having difficulty with a friend.
A parent, counselor, teacher, coach,
aunt/uncle or youth group leader may
be a good person to reach out to. You
deserve positive, healthy friendships, and
one of these trusted adults can help you
if you need extra support in having the
friendships that you want.
Karmen B.