My boys were born in the very same minute. (We'll let them hash that out when they get old enough to argue). They entered the world with their tiny hands waving to God and their little lungs just strong enough to bless my ears with a small sample of their voices. In one huge minute, my whole life's purpose came to fruition. A minute, draped in grace, that will last for eternity.
Three days later, I was discharged from the hospital, but it would be another 51 days before baby Avram would come home, and 63 days before my Sagan would also leave the NICU. None of the Google searches I made before their births about car seats, cribs and strollers prepared me for the seemingly endless days and nights spent in the NICU. So many things warred for my thoughts, efforts and attention. Absorbing all of the medical jargon to make sure I was an avid advocate for the two innocent lives God entrusted to us; staring into my boys' isolettes; having to ask the nurses when and if I could hold them; pumping milk every 2-3 hours; forgetting to eat; dying to sleep; blaming myself for doing too much or not doing enough to prevent my premature labor; changing their tiny diapers while singing to them softly; watching the monitors when they had their bradycardia, slow heart rate, episodes; praying for and with the NICU nurses who, most of which are literal earthly angels, and so, so much more. And in the midst of it all, there was also so much grace.
Fast forward to today. I saw a mother, her 8 year old daughter and 3 year old twin girls for the second time in the store. We stopped and exchanged stories of our twin “mommy-ing” experiences, which included relating to each other's tales from the NICU. It feels good to connect to someone else's experiences, even if it's while standing next to a wall of hot dogs and dairy products.
Now 8 months old, vibrant, funny, curious and bright, Avram, who was born weighing 2lbs 2ozs, and Sagan, weighing 2lbs 11ozs at birth, are super happy and fluffy baby boys. Some days I look at their perfect little faces and think, “Is this real? How blessed am I to know you're both mine!”
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