lead God’s people,” and now this final revelation that I was no longer His choice, that I should be happy serving the appointed. All this after spending 27 “willing” years: teaching, leading worship, speaking, pastoring couples, giving 35% of our income to serve the cause, being the Dean of the ministry’s college, submitting to training after training, class after class and finally earning a Master’s Degree in Organizational Leadership, only to discover I missed it. I was reduced to announcing the speaker and praying the opening prayer for service. By this time, I was required to get pre-approval on Bible Study teaching topics and members were told not to ask me any questions. I was the Assistant Pastor, I was not on suspension, but it was something that just became understood as more and more of my responsibilities became “shared” with others so I wouldn’t be burdened.
The truth is, I was no longer assimilating, so my influence needed to be contained. And if I am completely honest, the call, at that time, was stronger than ever and God had been speaking to me about stepping out, but, how could I? Didn’t I need approval? Why was I still so concerned about what my leadership would think, even though it was clear they did not trust me and would never acknowledge the true call of God on my life? The simple answer was, because I loved my leadership. This was my family. We had lost my father only a year before to pancreatic cancer. I knew in my heart that my leader believed she was hearing and following God in EVERYTHING. But everything wasn’t from God. She had raised leaders who would know the difference, but there I was, miserable and nearly sick at the thought of going to church. I wasn’t alone in that thought, though we would never discuss that with other members. After one more year, the time had come for me to accept the truth. I had a clear word from God to GO!
Though it was not received well at all, we were obedient and it was the most liberating decision we could have ever made. Not only did we discover joy and freedom, but within 6 months of that decision, Charles and I founded Grace and Power Ministries, and I discovered my call to the nations. Within a year I went on my first mission trip. I went to Africa three times, specifically to Uganda and Kenya, and our ministry has helped to bring in supplies, support the building of a school, train leaders, as well as, bring a ministry of healing and deliverance to the oppressed. In addition, our ministry has begun to support the start of businesses among women in areas where there is great poverty, through an outreach we call The Butterfly Project. Yes, it has been quite a transformation these last 2.5 years. We weren’t alone. God directed Charles and I to leaders who would show us that the real price for ministry is simply LOVE.
If you are in similar circumstances, remember Who called you to the work and operate in love towards those who may have mishandled you. Maybe they were limited in their view; maybe they have been hurt; or maybe their abuse was intentional. In any case, follow after love. Love endures and is patient, not boastful, rude or conceited, and it does not keep an account of wrongs. It is important that we believe the best and are able to bear up under the things that come our way, and then when love says, “GO!” you can do so in confidence, owing nothing.
Traci Childress, with her husband Charles, are pastors of Grace and Power Ministries . To find out more about the ministry, visit their website: www.GraceAndPowerMinistries.org.
Cost of Ministry continued.
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