Blue Ink Media lifestyle magazine. Blueink.ng- Digital Mag 1st EditionP

HEY YOUNG MUM (Do young mums have the same issues as the older generation with the pace the society is moving and the changing dynamics? The answers are available in this fresh column by our in – house young mum who shares true life experiences) How/when should you visit a new mum? This experience should guide you By Mona Alfa D o you recall getting home from the hospital with your precious bundle of joy and then neighbours and well-meaning people came around to see and congratulate you? How was it? I know – you were at border between gratitude at the love and irritation at the inconvenience. Yeah, I have been there and there are really no words in the diary to de- scribe the mixed emotions one feels. Come on, visitations are a blessing when properly done but most Nigerians don’t know how to visit a new mum and expect her to be very active and hospitable with all the changes that is going on with him. For those who are yet to give birth, let me share my experience. I started having contractions at 10pm on December 26th but delivered the next day, 27th. Although I had a natural HOW/WHEN SHOULD YOU VISIT A NEW MUM? birth, my baby weighed 4.4kg and I had a deep episiotomy, leaving the labour room at 2am. By 9am of the 28th, I was released to go home even though I was just coming off my anaesthesia high (story for another edition). Can you get the picture and imagine how physically, mentally and emo- tionally exhausted I was? So, you should understand that the last thing I wanted to do was receive visitors but there is no choice. As with other new (young) mums in this part of the world, it’s hard to get people to take cues and know when you are not comfortable with some gestures. This is Naija, o and our communalism can be excess. Maybe the visitors legit believe that the popular saying that the pains disappear when the baby comes out is true and so are confident that the new mum is strong enough to play host. News flash – the pain doesn’t go away. They lied! I felt the pain and couldn’t even walk well or sit well but I still had to play host with a smile. Don’t get me wrong, I ap- preciate the time and effort our visitors put in to come but I was tired and in pain. It’s not a small something, o. But I didn’t have to deal with a lot because my husband stood in gap for me (man of the year!) which was a huge relief. He would host the visitors alone sometimes when I was too distressed to. At other times, I would hear him say ‘they are sleeping’. These breaks gave me time to rest and bond with my bundle of joy. However, away from this, we had a lot of interesting visitors –family, close friends and some neighbours we vibe with, especially the ones that came with thoughtful gifts. This is another point guys, please if you must visit, do so with nice gifts for the baby

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