Blue Collar Royalty Apr. 2015 | Page 25

Today’s  Puzzle       By  Linnaeus  Bloom       It  was  a  lifelong  dream  of  his  to  publish  a  crossword  in  The  New  York  Times.     “They’re  made  by  ordinary  people,”  he  told  her.    “Just  like  you  and  me.”     Seeing  his  name  in  print  filled  her  with  the  same  breathless  bewilderment  as   when  she’d  heard  of  his  new  girlfriend.    The  thought  of  him  happy.    Successful.     Growing  and  becoming  without  her.    It  seemed  their  whole  relationship  had  now   been  whispered  into  the  ear  of  Will  Shortz  –  crossword  editor,  puzzle  master,  and   lousy  confidant  extraordinaire.         There  was  one  across.    How  they  met.    She  tripped  over  a  one  across.    Really   ate  shit.    He  helped  her  up  and  patted  her  on  the  head.    “There,  there,”  he  said  coyly,   and  she  laughed  instead  of  screaming  at  everything  –  the  one  across,  the  gawking   strangers,  the  world  that  was  out  to  get  her.    Then  there  was  their  first  vacation   together  at  eighteen  across.    Fifty-­‐three  across  was  her  favorite  book.    He  said  it  was   his  too  but  later  admitted  he’d  never  read  it.    Every  year  for  his  birthday  she  gave   him  thirty-­‐five  down.    On  their  second  anniversary,  they  splurged  for  twelve  across,   even  though  it  meant  the  rest  of  the  week  they’d  eat  only  Ramen.    Every  clue  a  detail   slowly  spelling  out  their  demise.         Was  it  a  message?    Did  he  leave  it  all  there  for  her  to  find?    A  bat  signal.     “Come  save  me  from  my  happily  boring  life  with  Not  You.”    He  loved  a  puzzle.    The   new  girl  was  certainly  no  puzzle.    Or  it  was  some  kind  of  map?    And  if  she  snaked   along  its  right  angles…ex  marked  the  spot?    The  spot  where  they  could  be  happy?       25