blink Mag-ISSUE 2 Apr. 2016 | Page 9

Blink Lifestyles RELATIONSHIPS Y H W N REASOFT YOU. HE LE W hen your heart is broken, there's an opening, a small space for the light to get through. ‘To date, there has been nothing in my life that caused me more pain than when I had my heart broken by someone that I loved. The day he came to my home and told me that although he “loved me, but he wasn't in love with me” sent me spiraling for months with many Sunday afternoons curled up on the sofa in tears. But now I know why he left me.’ -unknown Reason #1: The Pleasure Principle According to Christian, people want to surround themselves with people that they feel good around and generally feel good in their lives. When you are constantly freaking out on a man for what it is about him that freaks you out, you quickly turn into one of the people that it DOESN'T FEEL GOOD to be around. And this has a huge impact on whether or not he wants to invest more time, effort, and energy in you and your relationship. Or if he will decide to give up on trying to fix what 's going on with you so you can both feel good together. Reason #2: Emotional Experience And The Future I actually laughed rather loudly when I read this reason which I have published in full. “For a man in a relationship, the ways a woman acts in the “little” situations become indicators of how she's going to respond when things really are tough and in the future. So if a woman is consistently negative and emotional… and can't get herself together even when a man tries to explain things and comfort her… then a man isn't going to think that things could be any better in the future together.” Reason #3: Lost Feelings of Attraction Attraction is important in a relationship and this should be a mixture of emotional and physical, however let's not confuse this with expecting to have constant fireworks. What keeps a relationship going, what real love is driven by is a mutual attraction, trust, respect and shared goals and interests. To read this reason of Christian's answers the question for men as to why they are 'misunderstood. Reason #4:The Neediness of Codependence A man wants to be with a woman that brings something better to his life, not take away his time, energy, and emotional “stability”. So when a woman doesn't have much going on for herself in her own life a few things happen. First, she focuses on her relationship too much as her source of happiness or unhappiness. Reason #5: She is Trying To Fix Me One of my major relationship pet peeves is when we try treat our partners like fixer uppers, focusing on the potential rather than the reality. “A man can and will “change” and compromise for a woman. It's a fact. I see it all the time where men let go of their “bachelor lifestyles” for one special woman, and change a ton about their social lives. But this only happens when a man has HIS OWN REASONS to change. It NEVER works, or lasts, if a man simply tries to change for a woman, or for the sake of the relationship.” Blink Digital Magazine Jan/Feb Issue No.2 09