Loneliness is one of life's most miserable
experiences. Everyone feels lonely at times,
but is there a message for us in loneliness? Is
there a way we can turn it into something
positive?
Sometimes loneliness is a temporary condition
that departs in a few hours or a couple days.
But when you're burdened with this emotion
for weeks, months, or even years, it's
definitely telling you something.
In a sense, loneliness is like a toothache: It's a
warning signal that something is wrong. And
like a toothache, if left unattended, it usually
gets worse. Your first response to loneliness
may be to self-medicate - to try home
remedies to make it go away.
Busyness is a common treatment.
You may think that if you fill your life with so
many activities that you don't have time to
think about your loneliness, you'll be cured.
But busyness misses the message. It's like
trying to heal a toothache by taking your mind
off it. Busyness is only a distraction, not a
cure.
Buying is another favorite therapy.
Maybe if you purchase something new, if you
"reward" yourself, you'll feel better. And
surprisingly, you do feel better - but only for a
short while. Buying things to fix your
loneliness is like an anesthetic. Sooner or later
the numbing effect wears off. Then the pain
comes back as strong as ever. Buying can also
compound your problems with a mountain of
credit card debt.
Bed is a third response to loneliness.
You may believe that intimacy is what you
need, so you make an unwise choice with sex.
Like the prodigal son, after you come to your
senses, you're horrified to discover that this
attempt at a cure not only makes loneliness
worse, it also makes you feel desperate and
cheap. This is the false cure of our modern
culture, which promotes sex as a game, as
recreation. This response to loneliness always
ends in feelings of alienation and regret.
The real message, the real cure.
If all of these approaches don't work, what
does? Is there a cure for loneliness? Is there
some secret elixir that will fix this toothache
of the soul?
We need to begin with a correct interpretation
of this warning signal. Loneliness is God's
way of telling you that you have a relationship
problem. While that may seem obvious,
there's more to it than just surrounding
yourself with people. Doing that is the same as
busyness, but using crowds instead of
activities.
God's answer to loneliness is not the
quantity of your relationships, but the
quality.