THE LOVE BUG
ADVICE COLUMN
I want kids, but he doesn't.
Dear Love Bug,
After dating my fiance' for 5 years, we were married in 2016. A few weeks ago, we got on the subject of kids during a couples dinner. This is when I found out that he did not want kids. We discussed having kids briefly while we were dating and I never got the impression that he did not want kids at all. My heart was so broken and I began to question our entire marriage. I love him, but the idea of living the rest of my life without kids is just unimaginable. Should I walk away from the marriage or try to discuss this issue in depth with my husband?
Sincerely,
Heavy Heart
Dear Heavy Heart,
First find out what his reasons are for not wanting kids. Usually men do not want kids because this is too great of a responsibility for them. The one thing you do not want to do is walk away. Do not make a decision based on one set of emotions. It's obvious you love him, but your feelings are hurt over the recent news of him not wanting kids.
Another common reason is fear. The fear that the minute the kid appears, you will become totally absorbed by motherhood. This is very scary for men, especially since they are so spoiled by having you all to themselves.
Discuss this matter frankly; tell him how important a baby is for you, it is not a simple desire, but a new step in your relationship. Do not pressure him. Talk and respect his decision. Give him time to enjoy being a newly wed.
Do you have a question that you would like The Love Bug to answer?
Send it to [email protected].