By Celia Milton you gift !
Black Bag Bridal
How do we Choose our Officiant ?
By Celia Milton you gift !
You ’ ve said , “ I will !” Now , how will you say “ I do ”?
Great question . Your ceremony is much more than the part of the day that makes you legally married . It ’ s a chance to thank your guests for being part of your day and nobody likes a boring thank
If you have decided to have a ceremony that ’ s not traditional , you may feel overwhelmed by the choices ; not only what you will include in the ceremony but who will be performing it . Of course , you ’ ll want an officiant who will be open to your ideas . Choosing wisely will make it much more likely that your ceremony really expresses your personality .
But before you can ask that potential officiant questions , you need to ask them to each other ! Do you want a civil ceremony , or one that feels inspirational and spiritual without being obviously religious ? Do you want to include family , guest readers , or Sparky ,
your giant poodle ? Should you include musical interludes or rituals like unity candles , sand ceremonies , chocolate sharings or handfastings ? Would you like to include readings , and if so , will they be biblical ( which can be included in many ceremonies that are not strictly religious ), poetic or literary ? The more you can describe your vision to a prospective officiant , the more likely you are to find someone who shares that vision and can make it a reality for you .
There are a few ways to find potential officiants ; obviously , you can look online . You can ask your venue or other professionals ( your florist , photographer , DJ ) about officiants they recommend ( or at least remember !). If you ’ ve been to a great wedding , find out who did it ! Collect numbers , look at websites , and narrow down your choices to a few people who seem like a good fit
Then you have to make the dreaded phone call . If that ’ s no fun , the process will NOT get any better . Are they enthusiastic about your plans ? Do they encourage you to include the ceremony elements you ’ d like and suggest others that might be meaningful ? Do they insist that you use specific readings , music or vows ? If this is important enough for them to mention in your initial conversation , it may be very difficult to get them to really create a ceremony that is truly personal .
Ask them if they are familiar with your venue and other vendors . If you ' re not local to the area where you ' re getting married , go over how to get your license and how they will follow up on it afterwards .
If you ’ re still excited when you hang up , you should try to meet with the officiant in person , or schedule a leisurely Skype video call , Face Time call or conference call with them and both of you . You can really talk about the ceremony and walk through the different parts , from the opening reading to the kiss ! You can not only get a sense of their approach to writing your ceremony , but how they would perform it ! Their physical presence is very important ; the way they speak , their confidence , the way they use gestures to punctuate their ideas ; all of these come into play when they actually perform your wedding .
Then , they should send you samples of their past ceremonies . And absolutely , absolutely , check out their reviews on one of the many wedding sites that post vendor reviews , written by brides . This will give you an overview of how pleased ( or not ) their couples have been . Wedding Wire is great for this . ( But do keep in mind ; one unhappy review may not be an honest reflection of their work .)
Ask about pricing and make sure that your budget can accommodate their fees . Officiants around the country vary widely in cost , but in all but the most rural areas , you should expect to pay 400-800.00 or a hand written ceremony , delivered by an experienced officiant who will guild you along the way and be your partner in the process .
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