BALA's
Comedy Corner
When you move abroad and become more comfortable speaking a language, a funny thing happens. You start to convince yourself that you’re fluent. Which is good, because really, the key to learning and mastering anything is having the accompanying confidence to know you can.
You walk into shops, without first stating that your, “Espanol es poquito,” and you find yourself jumping into conversations with locals like you actually know what’s going on. Because I ‘blend in’ here, people typically talk to me in Spanish without batting an eye. I usually understand. Except when I don’t. Those times, I fail miserably!
I can’t count the number of times I’ve made little mistakes here and there that cause people to question my mental capacity. It’s (thankfully) rare when I make a major faux pas, but when I do they’re usually pretty funny!
One evening, I was out with friends chatting in Spanish. All was well until a friend asked me if I had ever been parasailing. I hadn’t, and when I told him no, he asked why not. I admitted that I hadn’t because I was scared. After I said it he turned to me, gave me the strangest look and noticeably shifted away from me.
Confused, I looked at him and repeated what I had said with confidence and emphasis. I could see the words swirling in his head. He looked like a human manifestation of Bill Nye attempting to solve string theory.
Confused and discouraged, I looked out of the window. Next thing I knew, he jumped up, slapped his leg
and started laughing. Majorly off put by this weird behavior, I asked him, “Que?” (a rude way of asking, ‘What?’).
Now practically in tears, he tried to explain between deep chuckles and gasps for breath.
“Tu dijiste, ‘yo tengo mierdo!’” he bellowed.
So? I thought, I am scared, what’s the big deal? Lots of people are afraid of heights!
He said, “No, no, Mierdo es po-po, es, como se dice en Ingles, ‘sh*t’? Es miedo. Miedo es ‘scared’.”
If I had fairer skin I’m sure I would’ve been beet red at this point. I had just told this man that I was afraid to parasail because I had a case of the sh**s. Like, right now! I was indeed trying to say miedo (fear), but because I didn’t conjugate my verb and added an ‘r’ in the middle, I went from being scared to currently having a roaring case of diarrhea!
Jesus Take the Wheel! What a first impression to make!
Have I made mistakes since? Sure, but I keep going. I keep learning and growing. I don’t allow mistakes to stop me because I want to be engaged and learning the language is a must. I have no desire to be one of those sorta-Expats. The ones who just hang out with other Expats and speak their native language. I want the full-immersion experience.
So I keep talking. I keep making mistakes. I grow. I learn.
Lost in Translation
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