For almost everyone I talk to, France represents love, romance, French kisses, and sexual liberation. Everything is just so care free. Being a gay black man in Paris, I have say that it’s only a half truth. France, believe it or not, is an extremely rigid society, more (dare I say it) than in the US. During the debate to legalize same sex marriages, French politicians created every ridiculous excuse under the sun to end gay and lesbian marriage across the country. Whereas in my home state of Pennsylvania, the Judge ruled it unconstitutional for us not to have that right and that was it. Being gay in France is considered outside the norm and when you travel beyond the borders of big cities, you find yourself surrounded by people who have never even heard of homosexuality before. For many French people, mainly the older generation, homosexuality belongs in the closet or behind closed doors.
BALA
The Forgotten Demographic
IN
France
My daily experience in France with being a 'double minority' is unique. if it’s not a comment about my sexuality, it’s about my ethnicity. My husband can probably trace his 'frenchness' farther than I can trace my American heritage. His family is all white and I love them to death, but at every family gathering, I stand out . Within his family, there has never been an issue about me being black (apart of his grandmother asking if I was a real American). However, with acquaintances he has, or people I meet, there’s always a shock when I say either 'I’m gay or I’m American' because I'm not what they're expecting.
Is it is hard to be gay and black in the US. I must admit that I don’t have a clear answer. I just know it is not easy. I also know it isn’t easy in France either. Contrary to popular belief, France (like many countries in the world) does have a problem with racism.
There have been many times that my husband has told people that I’m American, and they have honestly admitted to picturing me as a “blond haired or brown haired white guy” and were surprised when I appeared. One time my husband’s friend “jokingly” asked if our marriage was a sham. I feel that had I been white, his friend would not have asked us that question.
One topic that I think isn’t discussed enough is how black, gay men live abroad. Being faced with the issues of being black and gay has caused my experience in France to be a mixed one. It is sometimes good and sometimes bad, but always different. We who identify as Black and homosexual, whether in France or the United States, are victims of ignorance and downright hatred. We have come a long way, but there’s still ways to go.
Chris Bronnin