BK Designs & Photography Ateres Star Issue 6 - Purim Edition | Page 9

The Ateres Yaakov Star – Purim Edition

March 2015

9

MAY GYM PROJECT PROGRESSES UNDER NEW LEADERSHIP- continued from cover
By: Benjy Terebelo - 12th Grade

zhey are playing”.
Having a place for the
students to play while they wait
for Bobby to determine which
side of the architect’s plans are
the top is not the only priority of
the school.
The safety
for the students playing on these courts is
of
paramount importance
to the extent
that
the school has insisted on leaving up fences to enclose the
area, despite the repeated occurrences of said fences landing
on the cars of staff members.
Staff members have said that
they don’t mind however, as at

least these spots are free from
the nefarious clutches of the
Lawrence meter ladies and
their $35 parking tickets.
The blacktops have also
been available for use whenev-

er the students like, without
any
general
restrictions.
Whether it’s 4 degrees below
zero outside or even before
some of the students have had
their morning coffees, it is important that the students have

a place to play.
That said, the administration is hopeful that they
have tagged the right man for
the job. Bobby, and his faithful
assistant José (names have
been
changed), are
confident
that their experience
building
a
rickety Sukkah each year
for the school
has provided
them with the
requisite skills to build a gym as
well. Although, no one has told
them yet that this structure has
to last for more than eight
days…

MAY FAKE News Blurbs
By: Natan Samson-10th Grade
Rabbi Bennett Buys Sushi Tokyo- After years of overpaying for sushi, the Assistant Menahel/Assistant Principal of MAY, Rabbi Bennett, has decided to purchase Sushi Tokyo. Students are now eligible for a 20% discount on all sushi trays.
Mr. Homnick Resigns- Mr. Homnick, the English teacher and college advisor at MAY, has decided to resign after making $2 million
from his Seattle Seahawks season tickets. Mr. Homnick explained that, “I am going to spend more time reading Shakespeare and thinking
profound, existentialist thoughts.”
Bobby Contracted to Build Gym- In a surprise move, Rabbi Yaffe announced that the school has decided to hire long-time MAY custodian, Bobby, to build the new gym. This highly anticipated announcement brought joy to the student body, although they were surprised when Bobby altered the plans to feature a hockey rink instead of a basketball court.
Rabbi Yaffe Installs Gate By Beis Medrash- Rabbi Yaffe, the Menahel of MAY, has decided to set up a gate by the entrance to the
Beis Medrash that is automated and requires one to scan the label of their Borsalino in order to gain admittance. When asked about the
new policy, Rabbi Yaffe responded, “I`ve told the students m