When I came home, I didn’t know I had
PTSD; I just knew I had trouble sleeping.
Then I started to become depressed. It didn’t
take long for my commanding officers to put
me on suicide watch. After being diagnosed
with depression and anxiety, I was put
on medication, but I became even more
depressed and suicidal. My hypervigilance
never went away, so when I went out in public I would have anxiety attacks. To cope with
this, I began to drink. After binge drinking for
felt alone and confused and like I was riding
the edge. In 2014 I had a PTSD episode
where I had flashbacks and hallucinations.
This ended in a violent outburst where I put
my family in danger. I was incarcerated, and
my wife moved heaven and earth to find
me help. After I found out about the Collier
County Veterans Treatment Court Program,
my wife did everything to get me in.
At first, I was nervous and scared and
didn’t know what to expect. I was under
many months, I gave myself liver damage
house arrest and on state probation and was
and was always sick. Reaching the end of my
not allowed to speak to or see my wife and
Army contract, I started doing drugs for the
son. All of this was very devastating.
first time in my life to help cope with what I
was going through.
After a handful of suicide attempts and
My treatment requirements consisted of
taking medication, going to group meetings,
having one-on-one therapy sessions and
trips to the Miami VA psych ward, they
submitting to random drug tests. I didn’t
diagnosed me with PTSD, major depression,
think I’d be able to keep up with it, but out
anxiety disorder and psychotic symptoms.
of fear of losing my family I decided to pull
That was when I really learned about PTSD.
myself up by my bootstraps and do the best
Out of the Army and back in Florida, I
24
Clockwise from left: Carlos while
serving with the 82nd Airborne
Division 1st Brigade Combat Team
in Afghanistan; pulling security to
keep the base safe while escorting
Afghanistan locals hired to work there;
Leadership Collier panel discussion
“Treatment Courts: Innovations In
Criminal Justice” with Judge Janeice
Martin, far left, Sergeant Leslie
Weidenhammer from the Collier County
Sheriff's Office, DLC Clinical Supervisor
Katie Burrows and Carlos Ruiz.
November 2016 - March 2017
I could in Veterans Court. Group counsel-