I often go to cafés to enjoy the delicious coffee and relaxing atmosphere, especially when
I miss the bus in the morning. One rainy Monday, I opted to linger and bask in the aroma of
a sweet Vanilla Latté. I found myself eavesdropping on a nearby couple’s conversation, and I
noted that they were only talking about themselves. The guy talked about work yesterday, and
the girl spoke about the paintings she had seen last week. I noticed that they had no interest
in the other’s story and constantly attempted to talk about his or her day, not even bothering
to ask about the opposite side’s day. Not even a cursory “how are things going?” Each time
I feel that there is a battle, a battle held by every speaker to steer the conversation back
about him or her. Meeting our friends, we’re always keen to tell a story about us. Something
really cool happened to me! However, just how many times have we thought about the other person
apart from the cursory what’s up? About…you?
Many times we often label others as selfish and self-centered, merely because they,
like most people, give themselves higher importance over others; a natural thing to do. I once
tried to tell my problems to a friend when I realized that she wasn’t listening. Puzzled, I
asked why. She replied that she, euphemistically rephrased, simply did not care. I was offended for a moment when I realized, of course she didn’t. Why would she? The conversation
was not about her, so she had no reason to maintain any interest in it. How many times have
we done so? Listening to a friend’s problems before phasing out, or to someone’s story and
yawning out of boredom. This shows our tendency to place ourselves above our actual level of
importance. However, there is a more important part to our conversations, our discussions,
our everyday lives. The “you” factor. There are people out there who, despite not having any
actual reason to, still take the time to listen. To put someone else over themselves on a
level of importance.
All the time, we consider the “me” in our lives, but what if we took the time to think about
“you”? Perhaps we can think about award acceptance speeches, which always seem to follow a
certain pattern. I’d like to thank my parents, my wife, my husband, my children, my dog, my
second-cousin-twice-removed etc. These are speeches which are heartfelt, but rare. We simply
do not think about the “you” in our lives enough or properly show them thanks, aside from
the cursory birthday presents or annual event. The “you” in our lives are all different. It
can be our parents, our siblings, our friends, our teachers, a special someone, or even those
combined. We don’t need a set day to properly show “you” our thanks. Despite humanity’s innate
selfishness, we don’t need to adhere to our nature. Like that boy who placed his grandmother
above himself, we should, albeit on a lesser scale, also begin to think about others.
Think about your parents. Your friends. Your family. Your girl/boyfriend. Think about
“you,” not “me.” And when you do, make sure you thank them. Thank “you.”
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Antonio Stark | design