Bermuda Parent Bermuda Parent Summer 2015 | Page 28

little ones BY PAULETTA FURBERT Time-Out! Does it lessen or encourage tyrannical tantrums? You decide … If you are a parent, you have either heard the phrase time out or have utilized this strategy. Social exclusion, another term for this tactic, is a form of behavioral modification that involves temporarily separating a child from an environment where unwanted behavior occurred. he concept of time-out was invented, named, and used by Arthur Staats in his extended work with his daughter (and later son), and was part of a long-term program of behavioral analysis begin- ning in 1958 that treated various aspects of child development. Staats described the discipline of his 2-year old daughter in 1962: “I would put her in her crib and indicate that she had to stay there until she stopped crying. If we were in a public place, I would pick her up and go outside. This has the effect of weakening the offending behavior so that it occurs less frequently, quickly disappearing unless the behavior has been well learned. (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) don’t respond to what they’re ‘saying’ and throw a fit. For older toddlers, however, tantrums are more about power. By the time kids are 3 or 4, they have grown more autonomous. • After choosing an appropriate spot away from distrac- tions decide how much time your child will spend there. A good rule of thumb is one minute per year of your child’s age. So, a 2-year-old would get two minutes of time-out while a 5-year-old would get five minutes. • Take your child to the time-out spot while the behavior is occurring or immediately after. Have him/her think about the behavior that was just engaged in. • Keep Your Cool – As parents it’s important to remain your composure. Talk to your child about the inappropri- ate behavior with a calm voice. He or She is more likely to respond to you favorably. • Once your child has served time-out, have a quick debrief about the situation and let the event go. Things to Consider when Considering Time-Out • 26 Young kids -- namely those between the ages of 1 and 4 -- haven’t developed good coping skills yet. They tend to just lose it instead. And what, exactly, sets them off to begin with? Many child experts say that every single tantrum results from one simple thing: not getting what they want. Children between 1 and 2, tantrums often stem from trying to com- municate a need -- more milk, a diaper change, that toy over there -- but not having the language skills to do it. They get frustrated when parents To sum up, time-out has been used by countless parents for many years. The goal is to teach children that inappropri- ate behavior is wrong and that a consequence will be applied. Is this a method you might consider using with your children? Will you seek out further information about it? We’ve provid- ed you with initial information to get you started. Now make the best decision for you and your child.