Bermuda Parent Bermuda Parent Spring 2019 | Page 11

reinforces the knowledge that they are special. Below are dis- cussion suggestions for children in this age group. Children need to know that as parents and caregivers we are listening, and that we value what they say. Discussion questions: 1. 2. 3. 4. Do you know you are special? What is love; who loves you, do you feel loved? Do you know your body is private and belongs to you? Your body parts have proper names. Discuss these with your child. Avoid pet names for private parts. Teach chil- dren the proper names - mouth, breasts, vagina, penis, buttocks. 5. Your private parts are private and so are other people’s. 6. Respect other people’s bodies. Do you understand what this means? 7. You shouldn’t feel forced to give affection and you shouldn’t force other people to give you affection. 8. You can say ‘No’ when someone you know and love makes you feel uncomfortable, even an adult. NO means NO! It’s important to tell someone about any confusing feelings you have. 9. Respect when others say NO. NO means NO! Does this make sense to you? 10. Listen to your ‘uh oh feelings’. Pay attention to butter- flies in your stomach. 11. Explain the difference to your child between a surprise and a secret. Give examples such as: surprises make everyone happy (surprise parties, birthday presents, a special outing, crafts made at school). Secrets can be hurtful, scary, cause sadness or anger. (Being bribed, threatened, told not to tell, and/or being coerced into not telling). Tell someone you trust when a secret or surprise makes you uncomfortable. 12. Finding your voice and “using your words” to be safe. Practice “using your words” and what this means. 13. Explain healthy ways to cope with sad, angry and scared feelings. 14. Cyber Safety – Visit www.cybertips.bm and discuss how to stay safe when on-line. 7. Always ask if there is anything else your child would like to share and create a safe environment for them to speak openly with you. If your child discloses they were abused it’s impor- tant to remain calm. Reinforce the following: 1. I believe you. 2. What happened wasn’t your fault and it shouldn’t have happened. 3. Thank you for telling me. 4. I will keep you safe (this is a priority for parents/ guardians). 5. I love you and am here for you. 6. I will help you and support you. 7. What happened to you is against the law. Laws are like rules, only more serious. There are consequences when people break rules. 8. We can talk about this as much or as little as you like. 9. I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect you. I love you and we will get through this together. Suggested questions to ask your child after they attend events or sleep-overs: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Did you enjoy yourself? How did you spend your time? What was your favorite part of the party or sleepover? What was the least favorite part? Did you feel safe? If applicable - you seem sad today, is there anything you want to share? Darkness to Light Stewards of Children Training Contact SCARS for training dates Email: [email protected] Telephone: [phone] or go to our website SCARS can bring the training to your organization or home mybermudaparent.com 9