use addictive behaviors to try to take the place of their deep
need for love, nurturance, and for feeling as if they’re a part
of something.” Personally, I think gangs, cliques, and other
undesirable behaviors can serve the same purpose. It is clear
that to become competent adults who are capable of authen-
tic, empathic relationships, kids need to grow up confident
about their worth to the people around them. They need
to know who they are. Demonstrating that we not only care
about them, but we really see them, hear them, and value
them, can make a world of difference.
Sources & Further Reading:
• Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the Present Mo-
ment—and Your Life. Jon Kabat-Zinn (2012)
• The Mindful Child: How to Help Your Kid Manage Stress
and Become Happier, Kinder, and More Compassionate.
Susan Kaiser Greenland (2010)
• Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parent-
ing. Myla Kabat-Zinn and Jon Kabat-Zinn (2009)
• The Way of Mindful Education: Cultivating Well-Being
in Teachers and Students (Norton Books in Education)
Daniel Rechtschaffen and Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD (2014)
posite direction. Either way, we seldom consciously, look at
or question our basic philosophy regarding how we respond
to children, and if we did, we might find that our day-to-
day interactions don’t reflect what we think they do. That’s
where the “conscious” or “mindful” part comes in.
Being mindful, means being aware of ourselves and
what’s around us. It means consciously choosing our behav-
iors, rather than acting impulsively or automatically, refrain-
ing from recreating the past or projecting into the future.
As a mindful parent/teacher, we must be in touch with what
we’re seeing, thinking, and feeling in the present moment. We
then want to consider what the child is experiencing. Let’s
face it, how often do we make assumptions about a child’s
motives without really knowing? And if we do ask them
about what they’re thinking or feeling, how often do we ac-
tually listen to their response? More often than not, we tell
children what they’re thinking and feeling. Clearly, we’re
getting it backwards! Ideally, we want to be aware of what’s
going on with us, consider what is going on with the child,
then mindfully, consciously, choose how we wish to respond
to the child and the situation.
According to the renowned mindfulness teacher, au-
thor, and practitioner, Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Many young people
www.mybermudaparent.com
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