• I go to dinner with“ couple friends” and feel like a fifth wheel. My actions:
• My pastor asks me to start and facilitate a church bereavement support group, and I accept.
• CurePSP calls and asks me to co-facilitate a new Connecticut PSP support group. I accept and join the Patient Carepartner Advocacy Committee to continue Eileen’ s legacy of clinical trial participation and brain donation.
• The facilitator of my first bereavement support group asks my pastor and me to help a woman and her pastor start a similar group.
• A good friend asks me to join the board of directors for a community television station, a field of which I know little, but I join.
• I spend more time with my four daughters and their families.
Surprises:
I wear my wedding ring on my right hand.
• I now feel as though I’ m making a meaningful contribution working with organizations that help people.
• The woman I assisted in setting up her church’ s bereavement support group is a widow close to my age. After our second meeting, I ask her out for lunch. We continue to enjoy each other’ s company, sharing day-to-day joys and disappointments, and we have a safe space for both of us to discuss our grief.
• I now express my grief and ask my daughters to do the same.“ Being strong” wasn’ t working.
• I had the wedding ring I had worn for 52 years resized and now wear it on my right hand.
The third year and beyond, acceptance begins.
• I have many more good days than bad; the wound is not as raw.
• I have fewer upsurges of grief but still have trouble sleeping.
• I am not“ moving on.” I am“ moving forward.”
• I still think about Eileen every day.
• I am learning to live with life’ s joys and sadness.
• I am alone, but I am not lonely.
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