• Well-meaning friends want to fix me up with dates.
• I’ m not ready to sort Eileen’ s clothing and belongings.
• My daughters have their own lives to live; I will not be a burden.
My actions:
• I join a bereavement support group and rejoin a volunteer organization I had been active in.
• I reconnect with my coffee group and resume golf and walks.
• My daughters clean out Eileen’ s belongings. I save a few favorite items.
• I’ m“ being strong” for my daughters and family.
• I’ m slowly coming to understand that I did all I could for Eileen. It was the PSP I was short-tempered with, not my loving wife.
I’ m coming to understand that I did all I could.
Surprises:
• On several occasions, birds, especially cardinals, arrive at the moment I am grieving. I believe Eileen is with me in spirit, and it is very comforting.
• I think I see Eileen on three occasions; however, when the woman turns around, it is not Eileen.
• I learn who my true friends are. Some“ good friends” have not contacted me since her death; others keep in contact and are really helpful, inviting me out to dinner.
The second year, I am told, is the toughest time.
• I am grieving less frequently, but when I do, it is much deeper.
• I realize Eileen will never return. I have no one to confide in or share day-to-day life.
• Three close friends die, adding to my grief.
• I still have trouble sleeping.
• Holidays and anniversaries are difficult, but my grandchildren’ s special events are even more so since Eileen enjoyed them so much.
• I stay busy, but I have lost my sense of purpose. Nothing seems to matter.
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