ALLEN NIXON
I spent over 70 percent of my life with Eileen.
Eileen and I were married for 52 years. We shared four married daughters and five grandchildren. Sadly, Eileen died three weeks before our 53rd anniversary. Eileen’ s PSP journey lasted six years, from first recognition something was terribly wrong, through two years of misdiagnosis until her passing from PSP, confirmed by her brain autopsy, as she had directed.
Shortly afterwards, I joined a grief support group and saw a grief therapist. I took notes after each session so that I could reflect on what we discussed and use the knowledge to help in my grieving process.
About two and a half years after her death, I summarized my notes. I added the actions I had taken as I struggled with my grief and included things I was grateful for.
When grieving, one takes three steps forward and then two back, and on some days, it is four steps back. That is normal. It isn’ t easy to know on a day-to-day basis if you’ re making progress or not. Only after I reviewed my notes did I realize I was making progress. That understanding was cathartic, and it consoles me to this day when I grieve.
Unbeknown to me, my regular note-taking was a form of journaling. Had I been aware of journaling’ s benefit, I would have done a more complete job of it. I strongly recommend if you are in the throes of grief, keep a journal of what you are experiencing, both the good and the bad, and you, too, will be surprised by the progress you make.
Only after I reviewed my notes did I realize I was making progress.
This is my journey of grief. Hopefully, it will help with yours.
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