We all enjoy a good celebration which is what St. Patrick’s Day is. We have a day of dressing in green, celebrating with the leprechauns and faeries and drinking lots of green beer with friends. This can be wonderful fun until someone crosses that line, so how to prevent mishaps? Before going out with your friends or partners perhaps there needs to be a discussion of who is going to be the responsible one of the group in order to keep everyone safe, act in a sane way and make sure that all actions are consensual for all parties concerned. Remember NO MEANS NO! Doesn’t matter if you are male or female if someone says NO then respect that and move on.
Safe has many meanings although for the sake of this article we are referring to making sure that if you are going to be in a situation that has drugs, alcohol, and sex, that you are protected from being exposed to danger or risk. USE PROTECTION! While it is not 100% safe to have sex, while wearing a condom, at least educate yourself on the use of condoms, gloves, dams, and other forms of protection during sexual encounters. Educate yourself on the different STD’s and STI’s so you can make safe informed choices.
As a parent and an educator I feel it is our responsibility to make sure people and our children are taught how to be safe in any situation that could potentially be a danger to them. So why has it become so hard for parents to have a conversation with their kids on the basics of safe sex? If we can’t educate about sex and the responsibility of making informed choices concerning that sex, where is the safety in that kind of fear based behavior?
We can tell people that they shouldn’t have sex, that it is much safer not to have sex but will that stop people, no. It is the pleasure factor when it comes to the thought of sex, which brings us to the sane aspect of this article.
One of the reason I suggest you have a backup plan when going out is because once anything like drugs or alcohol enter into a situation there is no longer any sanity. The ability to have a sane thought concerning any sexual situation is pretty much nil then when you add in anything else, all sensibility is gone. It is better to put your safeties in place while you are still level headed and make sure you are safe in any situation.
Even if you haven’t consumed large quantities of alcohol or drugs before becoming sexually aroused you still need to be sane enough to be able to have a conversation with all parties involved about STD’s and STI’s, what kind of boundaries need to be in place and so forth.
Consensual means that there should always consent between the parties involved. There are times when we find ourselves under a state of an emergency; we should be responsible enough to make choices that are safe for ourselves and others.
When trying to understand what we are consenting to we need to have the ability to have a conversation with ourselves and those around us. It comes from understanding who we are as individuals and what we want or need in our lives. If we are not properly informed or educated how can we make consenting decisions for ourselves let alone about anything?
I am not saying that we shouldn’t have fun when celebrating all the different occasions, but at the same time there needs to be awareness of who we are as sexual beings and the understanding of what means to be responsible adults. Many rapes occur when because people are not educated or not aware of what really happens when you are not prepared.
According to the University of Sciences the definition of acquaintance rape or date rape, is non-consensual sexual intercourse by a friend or acquaintance. There are two important points made about this definition-non-consensual means without agreement and intercourse without agreement is considered rape. So if someone is passed or asleep it is not okay to have sex with them, learn to walk away.
I was looking at the statistics about date rape approximately 1 in 4 college aged women have experienced or had an attempted date rape. Out of those women 84% of them knew their attackers, only 42% of the women ever tell anyone about it, 27% of women attacked never realize what happened is considered rape. What is sadder is the fact 84% of the men who are the attackers never realized what they are doing is considered rape. There was one static showed that 74% of the perpetrators and 55% of the victims of rape were college students that had been drinking. The worst one was that approximately 33% of men questions said that if they could get away with doing a date rape that they would.
What are we teaching individuals if this kind of thing is still happening in our society today? It is my personal opinion that if we start educating in a positive manner at an early age we would have a more informed society. Where individuals can make safe, sane, and consensual choices for themselves and know that it is okay to say no and they will still be respected.
Please be safe in your celebrations of St. Patrick’s Day and remember do not try to catch any leprechauns; they do not play well with others, hehe.
SAFE, SANE, & CONSENSUAL - Positive Sex Education
By Lady Star Hawk