CORRESPONDENCE
Uncanny
BY A YESHIVA DARCHEI TORAH PARENT
Our introduction to
Darchei Took Place Nearly
Two Decades Ago, Many
Miles from Far Rockaway
Long before our first visit to Yeshiva
Darchei Torah; long before our first
encounter with Rabbi Bender; in fact, well
before we were blessed with our first child,
my wife and I knew that our sons would
attend Yeshiva Darchei Torah.
Let me explain.
I am a native of Brooklyn. I went to main-
stream yeshivos for elementary and high
school, and then to Yeshiva University.
One Shabbos, I met the woman who would
become my wife. She hailed from outside
the New York metropolitan area, and
while we were dating, we would often find
ourselves walking in a Jewish neighbor-
hood where we would notice groups of
bachurim: walking purposefully, eating out,
and interacting with others.
Middos tovos were always very important
to us; today they’re one of the key values
that we try to instill in our children – mainly
by example. When we watched those
bachurim, we noticed an interesting thing.
There were always certain groups that
conducted themselves in an exemplary way.
Whether it was their politeness, their man-
ner and volume of speech, the way they
would greet a person, their “thank you,”
their “excuse me”…there was something
about these young men that made them
stand apart from their peers—a sense of
refinement, a certain polish in their charac-
ter. It wasn’t shyness; plenty of them were
clearly outgoing. It was something subtle
yet clearly discernible.
So we would ask these guys, “Which
yeshiva are you from?” When this would
happen in Eretz Yisrael after our marriage,
they would inevitably reply with the name
of their current yeshiva. So we would prod
them just a little more. “Yes, but back in
America – where did you learn?”
And we started to notice a certain pattern.
When we’d ask well-behaved bachurim to
tell us their yeshiva of origin, the over-
whelming majority of times it would be
“Yeshiva Darchei Torah, Far Rockaway.”
It was uncanny. After a while my future
wife and I would actually enjoy the ‘game’
of guessing where bachurim were from,
invariably with the same set of results.
We were blown away.
So long before we even set a wedding
date, we knew: when Hashem would bless
us with children, including boys, we would
send them to Yeshiva Darchei Torah. It was
a no-brainer.
That meant that we would settle in Far
Rockaway or the Five Towns – the home-
town of neither of us and a place with
which we did not have much familiarity
at that point. Except for some of its most
prominent products: the bachurim of
Darchei. We knew that this is where we
would build a family.
Today we have four boys in the Yeshiva,
from preschool through Mesivta, and the
wisdom of our choice becomes clearer with
each passing year. The faculty of Darchei
not only teach our sons Chumash and
Gemara and Tosafos; they teach a way of
life, a value system, and a mode of con-
duct—mainly by example.
So one day soon, my wife and I pray, our
sons and their friends will be walking the
streets of Lawrence, or Lakewood, or
Yerushalayim, and another couple will see
them, take note of their comportment, and
turn to each other and guess, correctly,
“Yeshiva Darchei Torah.”
[Names withheld on request.]
BEDARCHEI HATORAH
WINTER 5780/2020
37