Here it is…the middle of December already, and I have been attempting to write this letter for a few weeks now—unsure of what to say, really. I mean—it’s Christmas Time for crying out loud! This is “supposed to be” the “Merry” time of year, right?! I don’t know about you, but this year tends to be really challenging for me—for several reasons, but the biggest reason is the death of my first husband 10 years ago this year.
Every year, I’ve given myself many “pep talks” saying that this year will be amazing! It will be great! I’ll focus on my family and all the many blessings that are in my life. I set my intention for everything to go “Martha Stewart Perfect”, and inevitably every year thus far “the dreams” begin around the first or second week in December—just about the time we really get out the Christmas Decorations—and I find myself waking up one morning having just “relived” the whole “thing” vividly…and my heart ache seems to being anew. Ever been there before? When years…maybe even a decade…has passed and something seems to rip open the wound anew?
Can I just be blunt here? Sometimes—ok, every time—this process freakin’ sucks, but you know what I’ve come to realize as I “got out of myself” and started listening to what others were going through—every person has someone they miss or some memory that haunts them, and for whatever reason, Christmas just seems to be “that time of year” when memories start to flood back to the forefront of our minds…and even though part of us feels so very alone and like no one else understands or could possibly know what we are going through, we are all in this together…not a single one of us is truly alone and no story is really “completely unique”—if we just reach out and connect with each other, it makes this process a heck of a lot smoother to go through
Here is something else I’ve learned—it doesn’t matter that the Christmas elf doesn’t move to a new location every night because “someone” forgot. (Know what I mean?) It doesn’t matter if the Christmas tree looks like a 9 foot shrub because this year we just picked a “wild” tree. It doesn’t matter that it’s the middle of December and cards haven’t been sent out, the house hasn’t been decorated and stockings have yet to be hung by the fireplace…
What matters during the Holiday Season are the same things that really matter the whole rest of the year: being kind to ourselves and one another… taking time to tell and show those we love how much they really mean to us… and being brave enough to allow ourselves to feel because it is in feeling those emotions that we find out we are stronger, smarter, braver and more amazing than we’d previously thought… and I believe on day in the not so very distant future, what used to “trigger” our “blast to the past” will spur a trip down memory lane where we find ourselves smiling and laughing instead of our heart aching and crying as we remember all the good times…and we will find ourselves standing taller and prouder as we walk through the sad or painful times because we will realize how much those made us grow and become who we are today…we’ll actually be able to say we are who we are only because of those difficult times….and it is then, my friends, that we will know beyond the shadow of doubt that we are truly and finally healed.
Remember to always…
Love with PASSION!
Live with PEACE!
Dare to DREAM—knowing you are worthy of all the good this life has to offer!
Until then, know that I love and believe in you.
-Ashley Wise
HeyThere Battle Buds!
Starting next month, you'll be hearing from both co-founders of Teal Star! Featured to the left is Jeannie Fitzpatrick