The realization that we were a family in crisis was hard. If only we knew what we know today, maybe we wouldn’t have had to live thru the crisis of suicide attempts, PTSD, depression and addiction. Maybe my son wouldn’t have had to suffer for so long.
As a military family, our experience isn’t unique but even more concerning was the realization that our situation was playing out in families all over the country. In living thru our crisis we found that many other teen and college age individuals are struggling to keep afloat emotionally. It’s a problem that can be changed if those of us living through it begin to share our experiences and talk candidly about what’s really going on before it’s too late.
Today I’m happy to share that our family is in the process of becoming whole again. We have grown from the experience and have developed coping skills that we continue to use every day. We have learned to manage crisis, deal with challenges in a healthy proactive way and we have found hope. Sure we wish we had known all of this before crisis struck, but that is why we share our experience. An experience so powerful and unique because it comes from two very different perspectives: the parent and the child in crisis.
Living Thru Crisis was developed not only to provide insight into the life of someone dealing with PTSD, depression and suicide ideation but to share the impact it has on the family and the power that comes from working together to move through the crisis.
Our goal is to give both the parent and the child feeling hopeless the tools and information they need to move forward. We want you as a parent to become informed of what to look for and how to identify the first signs of trouble and we want to show you the individual dealing with overwhelming situations how to seek out, ask and get the support you need.
Ultimately we want to inspire your entire family to work together to start living thru crisis so that it doesn’t define you and you can find happiness and hope again. We can help and this is our story.
…Mom’s Story:
I wish I had realized, before my son’s attempt on his life, that his abrupt change in behavior was actually an indication that something else was going on.
I’ll be the first to admit that it was easier to dismiss what seemed to be “typical” teen behaviors rather than recognize them as the first sign of a more serious issue. And I wish I were an anomaly.
You see up until 16 months ago my son seemed like the typical healthy 19 year old attending college at Texas Tech University on various scholarships. He had friends, enjoyed the freedom and seemed to be adjusting well. Or so I thought, and then on Oct 10, 2012 I received the call that no mother wants to get when their child is away… “Mom I’m not ok, I need help”.
Now this wasn’t the I procrastinated on my paper and I need help to meet the deadline type of call. It was the kind of call that brings you to your knees in an instant. In that moment my world crashed in around me, my baby wasn’t ok….he really wasn’t ok. Mom alarm bells were ringing so loudly that I could barely hear myself think, my heart began to race, and everything moved in slow motion. My son no longer wanted to live; we had no idea how he went from our fun-loving baby boy who loved to play and giggle to the young man who had given up on himself, the world and us.
This attempt on his life was with alcohol and prescription meds; only later would we learn that this wasn’t the only time we had been on the brink of losing him forever. Despite his state of mind and hopeless outlook,he thankfully reached out to us that day and we were able to get him the help he needed.
His diagnosis: ADD, Mild depression, PTSD (as that of a 3 term combat vet), prescription drug and alcohol addiction.
Let me tell you I was blind-sided. There was NO evidence of any type of substance abuse of any kind, no outward clues of anything more than your typical college freshman homesickness. Sure he took his aderal for his ADD but that was prescribed right? OH how little did I know. Sometimes known as a helicopter parent you can imagine the guilt I had because I didn’t see it, how did I not see it?
The reality was that he didn’t want me too…and like many other PTSD and depression sufferers he kept his struggles to himself: a silent, personal torment that I cannot begin to understand. In those early weeks as the truth of all that he was dealing with unfolded it became clear that the only way we could live thru this crisis was to deal with the truth – good, bad and ugly.
For me: The fear, helplessness, guilt and sense of betrayal consumed my thoughts. I examined my life, my ability to be a parent, mom and friend. My identity as a mom was put into question, and for months I felt that I had failed the ultimate test.
For my husband: The regret, sense of failure and self-doubt regarding his parenting skills were at the forefront of his mind. Anger at our son and himself. Confusion and denial that the situation was had gotten to the point where our son had lost all hope.
Living Through Crisis...
Sharing the Unspoken Truths About Teen Depression,
Suicide Ideation and Addiction.
Wherever You've Been...