piece of fishing line . Once you see how easy and ( mostly ) painless the procedure is , it ’ ll greatly reduce the horror when it happens . And it will happen .
Deep Six a Cell Phone
Do whatever you want to prevent it . Lock it in a compartment , wear Bluetooth headphones , duct-tape it to your arm – it doesn ’ t matter . Eventually , the inevitable will happen : an urgent text , one peek at social media , taking a selfie with a giant gator or looking at Google Earth . Then , one slip of the fingers leads to a bumbling , fumbling moment frozen in time , followed by a desperate , empty grab and … splash . Gasp . Gone .
Even if you drop it clearly inside the boat , it ’ s amazing how much bounce a cell phone can have . Of the four phones I ’ ve flushed , two were dropped within the confines of the boat but hit the console , which redirected the trajectory sideways and into the drink .
Watching your phone fluttering 20 feet to the bottom is an accurate parallel to the realization that you ’ ve just been cut off from the rest of the world . Nowadays , I always carry an iPad in the boat . Not only does it serve as a backup communication device , but Google Earth looks much better on it , too .
Rod Overboard
Like cell phones , rods get their fair share of dunkings . In the modern era of having 20 rods on the deck , it ’ s a given that some are destined to get wet . I ’ ve watched pros spend 30 minutes of a tournament day dredging the bottom for an escapee rod . Ironically , it ’ s not always the rod and reel they want back but the lure on the other end , especially when it ’ s a one-of-a-kind custom crankbait crafted by the late , great Ed Chambers .
Stuffing a Wave
There ’ s nothing quite as humiliating and downright shocking as spearing a wave . It ’ s literally like doing a face plant into a cold pool with your clothes on . The first time I did it , I got stripped of a front flasher and a pair of sunglasses ( right off my head ) and inhaled half a gallon of
ILLUSTRATION BY JOE MAHLER water in a half a second . To see the floor of the boat flooded up to your knees is also shocking . This too can initially look a lot worse than it really is ( hopefully ).
Swallow your pride . Shake off like a dog . Then turn the boat 90 degrees to run troughs parallel to the waves to buy the bilges some time to empty the boat . Most spearing issues come from being in too big a hurry . When running big water , go slow , then go slower and navigate one wave at a time . If you ’ re lucky , you won ’ t need to change your clothes back at the truck .
High and Dry and Disappointed
Running a 3,000-pound boat aground is going to leave a few scratches on the hull , but it ’ s the bruises to the ego that make this inevitable folly so painful . When your entire boat is high and dry on a flat or a bar , you ’ re a 20-foot billboard to all passersby : Got Rope ?
When you step out and the water barely covers your socks , your stomach will turn . The first time I went all-terrain with my boat , I was convinced it ’ d be stuck there forever , marooned as a mudflat marker , reminding the whole world that Rob Newell was incapable of navigating a bass boat .
Again , it ’ s an occurrence that usually looks way worse than it really is . You ’ ll need either extra manpower to push the bow around or another boat with a tow strap to pull it off ( or a couple hours of rising tide ) – whichever comes first . It ’ s always a good idea to have a yearly membership to a 24 / 7 marine towing service like Boat Tow U . S . Trust me on that one .
Barren Boxes
I know it sounds totally impossible : How could anyone go fishing without their rods ? But when you open your rod locker to the dismay of total emptiness , you ’ ll understand . You ’ ll feel the tinge of remorse and embarrassment . You ’ ll feel my pain .
It might only be one rod you forgot to bring , but it ’ ll be the rod you brought inside to respool and retie with your best lure for the tournament that begins in 15 minutes . The good news is that the next time you go fishing , your rod ( or rods ) will be still be leaning in the corner , rigged and ready to go , and you ’ re not likely to forget them again .
FEBRUARY-MARCH 2021 | MAJORLEAGUEFISHING . COM 17