Water-cooler Humor
To Tell The Truth
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the
mightiest animal in the jungle!"
John was a salesman's delight
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and
when it came to any kind of unroars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
usual trinket. His wife Marsha had Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with
long ago given up trying to get him his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leavto change.
ing the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari
One day John came home with
wagon.
another one of his unusual purThe elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a
corn tortilla and rambles away.
chases. It was a robot that John
claimed was actually a lie detector. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and
hollers after the elephant, "Just because you don't know
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy,
their 11 year old son, returned home from school.
Tommy was over 2 hours late. "Where have you been?
Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked
John. "Several of us went to the library to work on an
extra credit project," said Tommy. The robot then
walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking
him completely out of his chair!
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now
tell us where you really were after school." "We went
to Bobby's house and watched a movie" said Tommy.
"What did you watch ?" asked Marsha. "The Ten Commandments" answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again
slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and
said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a movie
called Pretty Girl."
"I am ashamed of you, son," said John. "When I
was your age, I never lied to my parents!" The robot
then walked around to John and delivered a whack that
nearly knocked him out of his chair!
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears,
and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't
be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair...
The Mightiest
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and
mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey, and
roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!"
Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, "Who
is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
24
the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
Home Shopping
Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a
Sears catalogue and admiring the models.
Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in
this catalogue?"
Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at
the price!"
Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one."
Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order
one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I
will get one too."
Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever
receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalogue?"
Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her
clothes yesterday!"
Say a Little Prayer
Squirrels had overrun three churches in town. After
much prayer, the elders of the first church determined
that the animals were predestined to be there. Who
were they to interfere with God's will? they reasoned.
Soon, the squirrels multiplied.
The elders of the second church, deciding that they
could not harm any of God's creatures, humanely
trapped the squirrels and set them free outside of town.
Three days later, the squirrels were back.
It was only the third church that succeeded in keeping
the pests away. The elders baptized the squirrels and
registered them as members of the church. Now they
only see them on Christmas and Easter.
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