They treat those they
don’t like with civility.
Whatever your feelings are
for someone, that person
will be highly attuned to
your attitude, and will
likely reflect it back to you.
If you are rude to them,
they will likely throw
away all decorum and be
rude to you too. The onus,
therefore; is on you to remain fair, impartial and
composed.
They pause and take
a deep breath.
If you can pause and get a
grip on your adrenaline
pump and go to the intellectual part of your brain,
you’ll be able to have a
conversation and to skip
over the judgment. A deep
breath and one big step
back can also help to calm
you down and protect you
from overreaction, thereby
allowing you to proceed
with a slightly more open
mind and heart.
They check their own
expectations.
If a person causes you to
feel exactly the same way
every time, adjust your
expectations appropriately. This way you’ll be psychologically prepared and
their behaviour will not
catch you by surprise.
Smart people do this all
the time. They’re not always surprised by a dislikable person’s behaviour.
They voice their own
needs.
If certain people constantly tick you off, calmly let
them know that their
manner of behaviour or
communication style is a
problem for you. Avoid accusatory language and instead try the “When you . .
. I feel . . .” formula.
They turn inwards and
focus on themselves.
No matter what you try,
some people can still really
get under our skin. It’s important that you learn how
to handle your frustration
when dealing with someone who annoys you. Instead of thinking about
how irritating that person
is, focus on why you are
reacting the way you are.
Sometimes what we don’t
like in others is frequently
what we don’t like in ourselves. Besides, they didn’t
create the button, they’re
only pushing it.
They allow space between
them.
If all else fails, smart people
allow space between themselves and those they don’t
like. Excuse yourself and go
on your way. If at work, move
to another room or sit at the
other end of the conference
table. With a bit of distance,
perspective, and empathy, you
may be able to come back and
interact both with those people you like and those you
don’t like as if unfazed. Hopefully after reading this you
will cancel that flight you
booked and enjoy life .