BangSwift Magazine Issue #1 | Page 15

Clean Speech; Toronto, Ontario, 2015 “I think that for people who are heartbroken, it’s almost like time slows down to a much more gradual pace. “I think the worst part about heartbreak is that if you think about what it takes to let somebody into your life or what it takes to fall in love or even just trust someone enough to make a new friend; it takes vulnerability. “And I think the worst part about when your heart is broken or when you get betrayed or somebody leaves you, is that the first thing you do is you start regretting letting them in, trusting them and being vulnerable. And you sit there and you think ‘I’m so stupid. Why did I do that? Why did I trust that person? Why didn’t I play mind games with them? You’re supposed to mess with people’s heads that’s what everyone says but I just let them in. Why did I do that?’ And I just want you to know that you can regret a lot of things in life and regrets are valid but ‘trusting someone, letting someone in and being vulnerable’ are not valid regrets. “You should never feel stupid for doing any of those things. Then, you have to move on, right? You have to replace all these moments where you let that person into your life and you have to fill in the holes where you made space for them and it’s hard in the beginning, I’m sure. But what might end up happening is you start replacing time you spent with that person with friends who actually care about you and still want to be in your life. And maybe the decisions you start to make are no longer based on what someone who you’re in love with might want you to do. Maybe they’re based only on what you want to do. “Little by little you start filling in the gaps, and more and more each day, you start to forget like heartbreak was written across your forehead and then one day, whether it’s a year later or a month later or three years later or seven days later you look in the mirror and you don’t see heartbreak written anywhere on you anymore. And in that moment, you’re clean.” This speech is beautiful and delicate in so many ways. She talked about getting over a heartbreak. No, not just the typical romance heartbreak, she also talked about the heartbreak of losing someone you trusted so much because of a betrayal. The speech highlights the vulnerability of someone breaking down their walls to let someone into their hearts. 12