BAJAN SUN MAGAZINE
OCT 2014
A SEX FOCUSED MAN CONTINUED
Adapting and demonstrating a willingness to walk the
relationship through our partner’s shoes is perhaps the
first step towards finding a resolution. This literally
means understanding that sex is a male priority while
love and relational health is a woman’s. While a
husband may choose to relate or demonstrate love
through sex, he must ask himself, does my wife feel
loved or validated in each instance? Yes, being
sexually desired and pleased is a vital part of an
intimate relationship and as women we do value this
but the tendency to use sex as a substitute for dialogue
or as a short cut for deep relationship change can also
be counterproductive. By the same token, as women,
we must question how loved or appreciated our man
can feel if we’re deliberately withholding sex or have
adopted a casual attitude towards its place in our
relationship.
Ultimately, men should not allow their focus on sex to
cause them to emotionally disengage from their wives
nor should women disconnect sexually because their
emotional needs are unmet. The solution to the core
difference in priority between men and women, rests in
both individual’s willingness to meet the needs of the
other and by so doing, demonstrate the essence of true
love; selflessness.
This relationship challenge is also compounded by the
fact that while men do focus on sex as critical, many
are uncomfortable talking about its importance to
them. Because this is seldom discussed, the result of
inadequate sex from a man’s perspective is often
bitterness, resentment, sulking and emotional
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