BAJAN SUN
Bajan Sun Magazine
SEPT 2014
GOING BEYOND
ORGASMS CONTINUED
1. Clear the air of emotional and sexual baggage:
Release unresolved hurts from childhood or from
previous relationships that have the power to intrude on
true
sexual
intimacy
with
your
partner.
2. Deliberately preserve emotional exclusivity with
your spouse: While we may all have treasured friends
from our "past lives" or may meet new people with
whom we connect, it is important to define our
marriage as a special and unique friendship.
3. Revisit your lovemaking language and concepts:
While we may never escape the concept of "coming"
during the sex act, perhaps focusing on "being" may
help us somewhat to move beyond the limitations of
orgasm
4. Practice active forgiveness: Holding a grudge against
your partner can be entirely counter-productive to the
pursuit of sexual intimacy. It is imperative that couples
not allow lapses to occur after fights, arguments or
serious
rifts.
5. Sexualize everyday moments: See your sexual
relationship as your ongoing relationship and viceversa. This means that your method of relating
throughout the day is governed by thoughtfulness and
the
expression
of
desire.
6. De-genitalize the sexual encounter: Deliberately
forget today’s focus on things like penis size and
"designer vaginas;" a more holistic view of sex allows
us to understand the importance of the entire body.
Delaying genital touching and focusing on other
erogenous zones can enhance this.
7. Open your eyes: There is something to be said for
the eyes being the windows to the soul. Sharing deep
glances during your lovemaking, when every fiber of
your being is inviting you to close them, can provide
very telling moments. By opening them, you are
risking exposing your pleasure and your vulnerability
and you are entrusting this to the one you have vowed
to share your life with.
Denise J Charles is the author of How To Have Mind
Blowing Sex Without Losing Your Brain and serves as
Director & Counsellor/Coach at Better Blends
Relationship Institute. Follow her relationship blog
Red
Red
Apples,
here
or
email
her:
[email protected]
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