W
hen it comes to living
the life of our dreams,
we are led to believe
that we must always “think
bigger” and want more; more
money, more vacations, more
degrees, more THINGS. Once
we have more, then we’ll be hap-
py and then we’ll be living the
life of our dreams..or so goes the
story goes. But what if living an
extraordinary life wasn’t about
the pursuit of more? What if it
was about getting more out of the
things that actually matter to us?
For many of us, our mothers
taught us an immense amount
about life, but if you’re like me,
you really comprehend and
absorb the lessons that you ex-
perience first hand rather than
just being told. For example, if
my mother had simply told me,
“Life is extraordinary right now!”
I would have rolled my eyes
and thought “yeah, OK.” In the
meantime, I have a wanderlust
soul with crushing student loan
debt.
But she never had to tell me be-
cause I watched her live it day in
and day out. My mother was very
clear on what she valued and
she put all her time and energy
into getting more of THAT. She
was someone who truly valued
the people in her life, both close
family and friends and those she
merely interacted with. She val-
ued creativity. She valued good
music. These were the things
that truly made her happy so she
focused her time and efforts in
these areas and because of that,
she clearly demonstrated how
her life was “extraordinary right
now!”
It would seem almost unnatural
to see someone so happy 99% of
the time - but that’s what makes
it extraordinary. To some, it was
probably annoying to see some-
one so high on life, but after a
while, you bought into her world
view and learned to enjoy the
awesomeness of every little thing.
From a young age, I always want-
ed to be a millionaire. Whenever
my sisters and I would play the
game of LIFE, I would cheat
and make sure I had the man-
sion. My stick houses I drew as a
child were giant fortresses with
28 bedrooms, 17 bathrooms and
8 car garage for my new BMWs,
because that is what I thought
was extraordinary. It was a far
cry from the struggling, mid-
dle-class family I grew up in.
When my mom would rave about
her owning her dream car, a new
Chevy Impala, I’d look at her
with a smile and think, “She’s
over the moon about a Chevy?”
However, it had everything she
wanted. She made a very clear
list of features and manifest-
ed the exact car she desired. It
simply didn’t need to come in
the form of a Mercedes or Benz.
She cared about the quality and
features, not the label.
Whenever she would tell me
about having the BEST date
night with her beloved “Prince”,
I’d always ask, “so what did you
do?” Her response was typically,
“We just ate at Ruby Tuesday's
and then went home held hands
while watching TV.” To my mom,
that was a spectacular night.
As her love language was qual-
ity time, it was a dream date.
She just wanted to BE with her
“Prince”, the love of her life. She
didn’t desire the fancy restaurant
or flowers, she just wanted to see
her love and kick off the week-
end with quality time together.
To me, it was an ordinary night,
but to her it was extraordinary.
My mom also LOVED her job.
She called it her “dream job”
and bragged about the generous
benefits, the view from her desk,
her loving co-workers and the
massive amount of creativity her
job afforded her, including her
annual jazzfest. I would think
to myself, “sounds great, but I’d
want a bigger paycheck.” She
was clear on what values in a job
would make her happy so once
she had them, she was...happy.
Mom was high on life, but I was
left wondering, “How can some-
one be living such an extraordi-
nary life without the THINGS?
Where are the expensive cars,
the once-in-a-lifetime vacations,
the expensive clothes? She had
my eyes and ears, but still, I
wasn’t convinced that such an
extraordinary life could be lived
so simply.
That all changed in 2014. Shortly
before Christmas, my mother
was diagnosed with a rare form
of leukemia. Over the next year
she received almost weekly
treatments in an effort cure the
rarely-cured disease. As w