I
’ ve always been intrigued by the verb / noun / feeling of trust . You see , when you ’ re shown that the trust you give to those responsible for your well-being is something to be discarded , there is an imprint for distrust . I ’ ve had a lot of people ask me how it ’ s possible for me to trust others when I ’ ve been through babysitters and my own biological father sexually abusing me ; how I can trust when my own mother sat idly by while I was thrown down flights of stairs by my hair . Yea , that shit is traumatic . But there is something far more damaging for a person : trust in themselves .
You see when we ’ re little , we know not fear . We see adventure and fun ; not scraped up knees and elbows , not poison ivy itching , or bee stings . We just trust that things will be fine and that we will be okay . We trust . Until we are shown that trusting gets us betrayal , pain , hurt . Unfortunately , for the hundreds of thousands of men and women who trusted someone that took advantage of them , this kinda betrayal is much harder to deal with . It ’ s harder to come back from .
I ’ ve talked to a lot of people who say that they have trust issues . And it ’ s always trust issues in trusting other people . I can ’ t tell ya how many times people have told me that they can ’ t have a partner because that other person , who has done nothing wrong or distrustful to date , just cannot be trusted . What they ’ re not saying is that they have trust issues in themselves . They don ’ t trust themselves to make the right decisions . They don ’ t trust themselves to follow through with things or to be able to live an extraordinary ( or ordinary ) n life .
When we say shit like , “ I don ’ t trust anyone ”, you best understand that you ’ re lumping yourself in with ‘ anyone ’.
We attach so much of our relationships on those five , flimsy letters . There is so much weight that the moment someone forces us to no longer trust them , we no longer hold that sacred bond .
I ask you to look at yourself and think of how you handle your own distrust . How do you handle not trusting that initial , gut answer ? How do you handle the second-guessing ? What do you do when you seek outside validation as proof that you can trust yourself ?
Don ’ t for one second get shit twisted : asking for another ’ s
opinion because you value that perspective is one thing . Asking someone else to validate your decision because you can ’ t trust yourself to make a good choice is something different entirely .
The one thing that I ’ ve held onto my entire life is that trust , while it really is the backbone of any relationship , should be given without question : until it ’ s violated . I can ’ t tell you how many times my trust has been shit on ; and I ’ m sure yours has too . But I can tell you that no matter how many times my trust is shaken , I REFUSE to stop trusting people . This is a huge difference between a Liver and a survivor or victim : trust .
We ’ re shown through our experiences that trust is a commodity , well yea , so is chocolate , but I guarantee you I have a stash hidden away somewhere for when I want it ! You , too , have a stash of trust within you that you can tap into at any point to progress
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