Badassery Magazine June2017 Issue | Page 45

O h how beautiful our lives could be if we could just….LEAP! I’m talking some ‘Indiana Jones’ type shit where we just look at the hollow spaces in our hearts and decide to just trust in ourselves that we are going to make it across to the other side. Like...there are these invisible walkways that only time and our souls can see that lead us further along our right paths. How fucken awesome would that be? Well, I’ll tell ya. It’s so awesome that the first thought you have in the morning is “How can I change someone’s life today?”. The second thought is, “Who’s soul do I get to hold in my hands today and help heal?” The third? “Oh shit I gotta pee.” (You know you were waiting for it, don’t play!) Let me tell you how, the moment you just open your arms and allow it all to come out, how it all comes back! You take that one small step to just trust in your- self; trust in your feelings and in your spirit and GREAT FREYA’S FALCONS!!! It becomes this gentle caressing of give and get. Imagine a sheer gown made of the most precious materials we know. That gown must be cared for in such a particular way. And so long as you care for it the way that it needs, it will feel like velvety air upon your skin. It’ll never fade and it fits your beau- tiful body so finely. THAT is your heart and soul! That is the special combo that needs to be listened to for tears and rips. The marriage of intu- ition, ancient knowledge, and purpose. These must be trusted and heard so that you can create the life that they [your heart and soul] feel most full in. swimmers and I almost drowned that day. Spread your wings little bird Well, in those moments of me begging and arguing and reassur- ing my dad that I KNEW what I was doing; I actually knew what I was doing. I trusted myself to not let me down. My little body and heart knew that I was going to end up just fine and that no harm would come to me; despite the inherent dangers. I didn’t see danger. I didn’t know fear. I saw fun and chance and oppor- tunity. And my own airy gown billowed around me; it danced and glowed because I was honor- ing what I knew and felt I had to in my heart. I know, firsthand, that trusting in yourself can be so incredibly hard. I know that somewhere along your way, someone abused that trust and made you question yourself. I get it. You don’t make it out of a rape or sexual assault without more than your clothes stripped from you. Let’s take a small trip back in time. Remember when you were little and there was something you just HAD to do because you KNEW that you’d wind up okay? For me, I was about 7 and it was the Gruber Pool. I went with my dad and step-mom and I was bound and determined to jump off the diving board. I am, to this day, not the strongest of “Okay, so what the hell does airy gowns and rape and diving boards have to do with shit?” Most of us lost that feeling when we were younger. We’ve forgot- ten for a long time what it feels like to KNOW with every cell of our bodies. We’ve learned to 42