R
ecently on a podcast inter-
view (yet to be aired!) I was
asked a question: if you could
go back in time and give your
younger self advice, what would it
be?
I had never considered this ques-
tion before, but as soon as she
asked me a specific memory
popped into my head.
I was six years old and had just
received a really cool bike for my
birthday. It had a Goofy flag on the
back of the bike (literally the Dis-
ney character, not just an adjective
in this case) and a new bell to ring
on the hand bars. But this isn't a
happy memory.
I never met my father; he aban-
doned our family when I was still in
my mom's belly. She went through
a messy divorce with this verbally
abusive deserter all while carrying
me. I'm not sure if there is any re-
search to back this up, but I believe
that I struggle with depression and
anxiety because those conditions
wracked my mom's body while I
was inside. How could I not feel
my mom's suffering? I believe they
are deeply ingrained in me now.
She remarried when I was five,
and I was on top of the world. I
was so excited to have a dad, and
so I started calling him "daddy"
(pronounced "deddy" in the South)
right away.
This time in my life was full of sur-
prises and confusion. Even tho