DEAR
Alcohol
ENDING A TOXIC
RELATIONSHIP AND
MOVING FORWARD
by Sarah Ordo
D
ear Alcohol,
Where should I start? Our love
was that of a classic toxic love
story... Girl meets boy, girl likes
boy, girl spends time with boy, girl
experiments with boy, girl begins
to feel dependent on boy, girl loses
part of her identity to boy, boy
breaks girl’s heart, girl comes back
for more, boy promises to make
things better, girl is naive, boy
breaks girl’s heart, girl is lost, boy
breaks girl’s heart, girl is broken,
boy breaks girl’s heart, ...and then
girl is left to pick up the pieces. Just
like a true toxic relationship, this
was how our tainted love existed.
I loved you until I hated you, but
you had such a hold on me that I
never wanted to walk away from
you. You were a part of my identity,
and you made me into the person
14 • BADASSERY MAGAZINE
that people loved to be around,
or so I thought. You took my kind
heart and replaced it with a numb
blood-pumping machine. You stole
around years later and still laugh
about the nights you got us to go
to White Castle at 3 am in stilettos,
make friends and take pictures with
“I LOVED YOU UNTIL I HATED YOU, BUT
YOU HAD SUCH A HOLD ON ME THAT I
NEVER WANTED TO WALK AWAY”
my innocence and replaced it with
tarnish.
Of course, we had our good
times... The nights spent dancing
on tables, laughing with friends,
clinking shot glasses to celebrate
another year older. You fueled
some of the most fun nights of
my life with my friends. We all sit
random girls in bathrooms, and get
that hot guy’s phone number at the
bar. You gave us the stories we
will talk about for the rest of our
lives, and you even brought some
of us closer together. You became
such a big part of our lives that we
thought you’d always be around.
Where did it go wrong? Where did