drinks. And more shots. And down the hatch they
went.
I was no longer worried about a Cubs win, but for
her safety. Something about a solo, 100-pound,
40-something woman doing shots on a Wednesday night with a bunch of men terrified me to the
core.
With equal parts concern and curiosity, I followed her into the restroom. She managed to do
her business, and made her way back to her table
unassisted. A man I presumed to be her husband
helped her stagger out of the bar a short time later.
I felt physically ill watching this unfold, and still
can’t shake that moment from my memory bank.
I totally get that as women we feel pressured to
keep up with the boys - at work and at play. I have
brothers. My business colleagues are men. I love
sports. And I’m a good Irish girl, so of course I love
beer. I’ve been on that barstool. Trying to match
them drink for drink, following their lead in social
situations. Trying to keep pace so as not to annoy the waitress or bartender. Being polite when
someone buys me a drink.
shot, smile, say thank you, and then dump it. Or,
give it away, or set it on the bar. Don’t worry - you
won’t hurt their feeling. They’re drunk. Or will be
soon enough.
Know your limits. The most badass woman in the
room is the one who stands tall, and carries herself
with grace, poise, and charm. She doesn’t slur her
words, or stagger about the room, or fall all over
people, or shamelessly flirt with nearby randoms.
Sloppy Drunk Girl is never mistaken for a badass or
a boss.
Be Uber smart. Designate a driver. It’s pretty tough
to be a badass from a jail cell.
Cheers, bosses!
Merry, merry Badassery!
About the Author
But here’s the thing: men’s body chemistry is
entirely different than ours. Our hormones have a
significant effect on how we metabolize alcohol.
So to think we’re equals when it comes to booze is
simply foolish and careless. This isn’t about women’s equality. It’s about physiology and chemistry.
And doing shots is akin to mainlining alcohol. Flat
out stupid, if you ask me. And damn expensive!
Male or female, there is absolutely nothing bosslike or badass about being so intoxicated you cannot keep yourself in an upright and locked position,
let alone safely navigate your way to a restroom.
So, as we approach this season of holiday merriment, please aspire to booze like a badass. Remember these simple rules:
Shots = not hot. Sure, guys think it’s cool that you
can hang with them, until they end up babysitting
your drunk ass and cleaning up the hot mess you
made.
Dump it. Don’t drink it. If someone buys you a
Maggie Fitzgerald is the Chief Strategist
at Mpowered Marketing. A Chicago native,
Maggie is an opinionated writer, photographer, speaker, sports fan, beer drinker, dog
lover, and digger of both earthly and digital
dirt. She currently resides in Kansas City,
Mo., with her beloved rescue dogs.
mpoweredmarkting.net