qualities about myself is that I
can see goodness in everyone.
I encourage everyone I meet to
follow their dreams, to live up to
their potential, and I have always
prided myself on being able to get
along with everyone, but a lifetime
of acquiescing to little things leads
to bigger things, like falling into an
abusive relationship without even
realizing it.
There are so many clichés about
self-care, but I wish I was taught
that I had to save myself first
because drowning people drown
people. I let myself be dragged
under numerous times because
maybe, just maybe, this time my
boyfriend, my friend, my coworker
would get it right.
Look at the women in your life.
Hopefully you know a lot of strong,
badass women. But every strong,
badass woman I know now has
stories just like mine, if not worse.
When we talk to our friends, when
we raise our daughters, let’s
encourage them to be selfish. Be
an example for them. Show them
how selfishness can be a good
50 • BADASSERY MAGAZINE
thing. Show them that when you
share your feelings, when you
take that trip, when you leave fear
behind and take a chance, that it’s
always a good thing.
Always remember that today
is a new day. You are a new
person. You are never alone, and
everything is going to be okay. Say
no if you want. Say yes, if you’d
prefer. Don’t disrespect your heart
by hearing what it needs and giving
it something else. Start living your
life on your terms today. And then
start again tomorrow.
Need a few ideas to start? These
steps helped me get through
hard times. I did them during the
good times as well, and that’s
how the good times get extended.
Happiness and selfishness is a
skill.
1. Meditate. Find Your Center.
Be mindful. Live in the now.
Whatever you want to call it, give
your mind a break. I tend to over-
analyze situations, and my brain
is great at connecting the dots.
This is wonderful for puzzles, but
not so great for moving on from
a bad situation. When I take 10-
15 minutes each day to meditate
and not think, it doesn’t mean my
brain stops working or that I’m
trying to escape. It just means
that I need a rest from my brain’s
constant processing. It is my daily
meditation that keeps me calm
and happy and actually allows
me to think better and be better. If
you’re new to meditation, I highly
recommend the app Headspace.
Its creator, Andy Peddicome
recently tweeted, “We assume it’s
the world around us that causes
the feeling of busy-ness in our life,
but if we look closely, we will often
see it’s the movement of our mind.”
2. Process Your Emotions.
Negative emotions are not
only okay to have, but they’re
good. They let you know when
something is wrong. Maybe you
shouldn’t lash out in anger, and
maybe you shouldn’t plot revenge
and live in your bitterness for the
next 40 years of your life, but anger
and bitterness are important for
processing and moving on. The
faster you embrace them, the