Q Sometimes, I find my older brother kind of sexy. I’ d never act on this feeling! But am I crazy for thinking it? A You’ re not crazy at all. Sexual stimuli can come from anywhere— hell, even a good plate of pasta can feel like an erotic experience.“ It’ s a funny idea that we’ re only supposed to have sexual feelings for people who would make appropriate partners,” says sex therapist Marty Klein, PhD.“ In reality, we’ re constantly attracted to people, but we know better than to act on it.” It makes sense that you’ d be drawn to someone who you presumably look up to and respect, because it reveals what you want in a partner.“ Bottom line: It’ s okay to find him‘ kind of sexy’ as long as you separate feelings from behavior,” says Klein. Phew! Now go get yourself some pasta, girl.
|
SEX TOY OF THE MONTH
What’ s a toy that’ s a total stress reliever?
Orgasms are already de-stressors, so take it to the next level of enlightenment with the Ascend 4($ 89, jimmy jane. com). Use the big end to give your shoulders a massage, then move the small end down below.
Sooo much better than those chairs at the nail salon.
|
Q Since HPV is so widespread, do I have to tell my partners I have it? |
A“ You should, including onenight stands,” says ob-gyn Amanda Meulenberg, MD. Even though one in four adults has HPV, men are often unaware unless they show symptoms such as genital warts— yet most strains are asymptomatic. Because some, like 16 and 18, can lead to cervical cancer, it’ s important for him to tell future partners.“ HPV can be confusing,” admits Dr. Meulenberg.“ Tell your partner that it is extremely common and usually clears up on its own. Women should see their gynecologist regularly because abnormal cells can be found and treated before they progress.” Giving him the facts will give him peace of mind. |
Q Can those tingling gels really make you climax faster? |
A Yes! One of the main ingredients in many of those drugstore-aisle gels is L-arginine, an amino acid that naturally occurs in your body and is safe to use in sexy situations, says ob-gyn Sherry Ross, MD. Rubbing a fingertip-size amount on your clitoris increases blood flow to the area, an important step to orgasm.( The rubbing helps too, obvi.) Another ingredient to look for is menthol, which helps your body absorb the L-arginine and gives you that tingly feeling, says Dr. Ross. Try Skyn’ s new Excite gel($ 6, walmart. com), which contains both and is condom-safe to boot. Our tester, who tried it during sex, says,“ It definitely made me more sensitive.”
— JULIE VADNAL
|
HADLEY HUDSON / THELICENSINGPROJECT. COM. ASCEND 4: COURTESY JIMMYJANE. |
||||||||
114 _ COSMOPOLITAN _ JANUARY 2017 |