Many parents hope a rough patch will pass. Sometimes it does, but a prolonged mismatch can take its toll.
schooling
Spotting the signs early
Children don’ t always come right out and say,“ This school isn’ t working for me”. More often, they show us in quieter ways. As Manuel Haß, Principal of the German International School Pretoria, explains,“ Signs may include a child regularly showing reluctance or distress in the mornings, refusing to go to school or no longer talking openly about their day.”
He adds that some children may withdraw socially, avoid homework or shut down whenever school is mentioned.“ It’ s also important to keep an eye on changes in screen-time habits or behaviour on social media, as these can be early indicators that something is wrong. Any noticeable change in behaviour that wasn’ t present before should be taken seriously.”
Group psychologist at The Independent Institute of Education, Nasrin Kirsten, who oversees Student Wellbeing at ADvTECH Schools, cautions parents not to rely on report cards alone.“ Children tell us their academic needs are not being met through patterns of behaviour and performance that build over time. It is the combination of academic struggles and behavioural changes that reveals the real story.”
Kirsten adds that, on the academic side, you might notice a persistent decline in grades despite genuine effort. This is a child who sits working diligently but whose results keep disappointing.“ Their work comes back marked‘ incomplete understanding’, yet tutoring and extra help do not shift the underlying struggle. Within this pattern of mismatch between effort and achievement is spending two hours on homework that should take thirty minutes, or conversely, finishing everything in minutes then sitting bored and disengaged in class.”
When staying put does more harm than good
Many parents hope a rough patch will pass. Sometimes it does, but a prolonged
www. babysandbeyond. co. za mismatch can take its toll.“ An unsuitable school environment affects a child’ s emotional and psychological wellbeing,” says Haß.“ When a child feels insecure or loses trust in their school environment, it can hinder their personal development.”
Kirsten adds that if struggles persist despite tutoring, accommodations and support over six to 12 months, the environment itself may be the limiting factor, rather than the child’ s capacity.
Rethinking‘ fit’: school, curriculum or system?
“ Every child has an optimal learning environment, and there is no single model that serves all children equally well,” says Kirsten.“ Watch out for the tell-tale mismatches between a child’ s natural learning style and their current school setting.”
Children thrive when their learning environment matches their needs, and mismatches often cause disengagement. Sensitive children may feel overwhelmed in busy classrooms, while kinaesthetic learners struggle in lecture-heavy settings. Some need structure and falter in open, self-directed spaces, while self-motivated learners feel stifled by rigid systems. Research shows that no single curriculum is best; the key is fit. Signs of mismatch include boredom despite curiosity, anxiety under rigid expectations, and loss of enthusiasm when teaching conflicts with natural learning styles. When children eagerly learn outside of school but shut down within it, the issue is usually environmental, not a lack of ability or motivation.
Rather than asking whether a child can adapt to a system, many families are now asking whether the system can adapt to the child.
Many parents hope a rough patch will pass. Sometimes it does, but a prolonged mismatch can take its toll.
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